crackhead

DAYTON, Ohio – Police say they have arrested a man who allegedly tried to stab his girlfriend and then set her on fire, all because of a crack pipe.  Officers responded to 4447 Foxton Court around 10:20 p.m. after witnesses reported seeing a “male and female fighting about a crack pipe,” according to dispatchers. Police arrived to find Andrea Fradl and Mary Akers outside the residence, and Akers told police that Fradl’s boyfriend, George Combs Jr., had tried to set her truck on fire. Akers and Fradl were inside the apartment when Combs broke into the residence, according to reports. Fradl said Combs was drunk and demanded money, but was refused. He then hit Fradl in the face, went outside and flattened the tires of Fradl’s truck, and returned with a lighter and gas can in an attempt to set Fradl on fire.  After Fradl escaped outside to her truck, Combs followed with the gas can and tried to light the truck on fire. He then broke into the vehicle and swung a knife at her, according to reports.

You know what I love most about this story?  No, not fisticuffs over a crack pipe or attempted human arson.  That’s all par for the course here on Barstool New York.  What I like most about this story is the love story.  Yea yea yea I know what you’re gonna say “Hey KFC, you big fuckin PUSSY.  Nobody comes here to read about love.”  Well you know what folks?  I’m deeper than you think.  I’m like an onion.  I’ve got layers.  So when I read a story about two derelicts like Andrea Fradl and her boyfriend George Combs Jr. it warms my cold black heart.  Kinda like when you hear the love tales about the homeless creatures that live in the tunnels of Grand Central Station doing meth and heroin and having filthy vagrant sex.  I guess there really is somebody for everybody out there. <3.

Anyway, glad to see that the normal rules of relationships apply to the homeless.  Like bitch don’t touch my crack pipe or you WILL get cracked in the face.  I’m sure we’ve all had a domestic like that once or twice – just swap out crack pipe for something more conventional like my comic books or X men figurines.  Whether you’re living in the suburbs with your wife and kids or you’re addicted to methamphetamines in the tenements, guys don’t like their stuff being trifled with.  In reality, destitute crack addicts aren’t all that different from you and me.