Smoking GunAfter attending Easter Sunday church services, a randy Georgia couple repaired to the parking lot of a nearby Kroger supermarket and began having sex in a Nissan 350Z. The automotive assignation, however, was broken up when a cop on a “routine traffic patrol” noticed “ a silhouette of what appeared to be a female’s head bouncing up and down in the front part of the driver’s seat.” After exiting his cruiser, the cop approached the vehicle for further inspection. As detailed by Officer Nermin Cultarevic, he spotted driver Jamel Grant, 26, “naked from the waist down to his knees and he had an erect penis, which was in the front passenger’s, Ms. Michel Felix Casas’s mouth.” Cultarevic added, “Moreover, Michel’s breasts were naked and Grant was touching them with his hands.” After Cultarevic knocked on the Nissan’s window, Grant and Felix Casas, 21, struggled to put their clothes on. After Grant opened the driver’s side window at Cultarevic’s direction, the cop detected “a strong odor of both burnt and raw marijuana emanating” from the car. Asked what the couple was doing, Grant reported that they “were making out,” adding that “he and Michel came to the location from church where they attended the Easter service.” They were arrested for public indecency and loitering and prowling. Grant was also hit with a possession charge after claiming ownership to a joint and a bag of pot found in the vehicle.

How long was Officer Nermin Cultarevic jerking his night stick before he knocked on the window? Dude typed out his police report like he was writing the sequel to 50 Shades. Moreover, he’s an asshole. Don’t get me wrong, if I catch “a silhouette of what appeared to be a female’s head bouncing up and down” in my peripherals, it’ll get my attention too. Go ahead & close in for a peek. Just don’t be a cock block. So these frisky church-goers were role-playing The Resurrection on Easter with Jamel’s pipe as the star of the show…big deal. Busting up a guy getting his dick sucked while slapping some titties around is a douche move, no matter how you slice it.

Unless he got caught jerking it. That’d make sense. If he was rubbing one out while squinting through the fogged-up windows of a 350Z & got pinched, as a cop he’s gotta flip the script. Knock on the window. Blind them with the flashlight until he puts his cock away. Ask them what they were doing even though he described the scene like it was a script he wrote. Then, for good measure, frame the black guy with a bag of pot to lock up the “who are you gonna believe?” dispute when Jamel tries to tell everyone that his wasn’t the only shaft getting worked. If that’s the case, then Officer Cultarevic acted appropriately. If he didn’t get caught creepily pleasuring himself to an unsuspecting couple, though, he’s just not a good person.