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BROWNSVILLEPolice say the parents of a 12 year-old girl forced her to live locked in a closet with no light and minimal contact with the outside world. Police say no one had a clue about the abuse, not neighbors or school officials, until the girl’s brother spoke up. When police went to the Leticia and Alfredo Iness home on the 400 block of Jo Ann Lane, they found the girl locked inside the closet. CHANNEL 5 NEWS has video and pictures of the space were the girl was confined. She was allegedly only let out so she could go to school, eat, or use the bathroom during the day. The bucket in the space was her bathroom at night. Police say she was forced to clean it every morning. The girl’s mother told police she kept the girl locked up because she didn’t want her stealing food from the refrigerator. But police say the girl needed to eat. They say she was malnourished and looked like an 8 or 9 year-old instead of 12.

Well how else are Leticia and Alfredo supposed to stop this Hungry Hungry Hippo from stealing food from the refrigerator? You think they just jumped right to imprisonment in the closet? For Sure NOT. I’m sure they started off asking nicely and this selfish glutton probably couldn’t keep her paws off of the cold cuts and leftovers in the fridge. So whats the next course of action when your kids don’t listen to you? Yup, you guessed it – captivity in the linen closet. Because make no mistake about it there is NOTHING worse than people stealing your food out of the fridge.

Shit just last nite I ate my roommate’s last chocolate frosted donut which he happened to be saving for later that evening. Man when he opened that box and saw it was gone there was pure rage in his eyes. And I’m sure if he had the wherewithal to confine me to the boiler room for the next calender year he would do just that. Fortunately for myself, I have the strength of ten men, making it impossible for him to imprison me. Everybody who’s anybody knows you can’t leave donuts unattended around KFC.