Go to 1:30 through 3:00 for the real fireworks

Sun SentinelA doctor was arrested this week on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs after he nearly sideswiped a Florida Highway Patrol captain’s car, banged his head on the inside of a patrol car and spat blood into a sergeant’s face, a report shows. Zachary Bird, 41, was northbound on the Central Florida GreeneWay near Curry Ford Road about 1:30 a.m. Sunday and apparently was speeding when his car almost hit the captain’s car, which also was northbound, the report states. Bird had alcohol on his breath, his eyes were glassy and bloodshot and he was unsteady on his feet, a trooper wrote. He refused to provide a blood sample.  A trooper found $40,000 in his pockets and another $14,000, two handguns — a .44-caliber revolver and a .45-caliber semiautomatic — a bottle of pills and a vial of liquid in his BMW, according to the report. The drugs and liquid were sent to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement for analysis. Video from a trooper’s car shows Bird banging his head against a partition inside a patrol car until blood runs down his face. Bird accused troopers of stealing his money, the report states. Bird became enraged, spat a mouthful of blood into the sergeant’s face and eyes and kicked the door so hard that he damaged the hinges, the report states. The car required several hundred dollars worth of repair and cleaning by a hazardous-materials team, said Sgt. Kim Montes, a Florida Highway Patrol spokeswoman.

Yo stop stealing his money. Stop stealing his money.

You gotta just be coked out of your gourd to throw a fit like this, no? He ends up looking like Mankind after a Hell in The Cell match. I mean the dude down in Miami munching on faces would probably have been like “Yo, bro, calm down. You’re out of control.” Although then again I’ve never been pulled over with 55 grand in cash on me and enough guns to make Delonte West blush. I guess maybe when you know you’re completely and utterly fucked and on enough drugs to kill a horse you may just go completely insane like this.

Also gotta give a shout out to the police officer who didn’t pull out his gun and shoot this doctor dead on the spot. If anyone ever spit their blood into my eye and I had a gun on me they would be dead in a heartbeat.