MSNBC – The search for the female G-spot — that supposedly erotic pleasure button somewhere in the vagina — has become like the search for the Lost City of Atlantis. Some insist it’s real and that they’ve found it; others insist it’s a myth; and still others say it was never lost, it’s just part of an island we’ve known about all along, an extension of the clitoris. Now a surgeon from Florida is insisting he’s not only solved the mystery, but that he’s held the G-spot in his hands. Dr. Adam Ostrzenski, a surgeon and retired professor of gynecology, who now practices “cosmetic gynecology” in St. Petersburg, reports in an article in the Journal of Sexual Medicine today that he found the G-spot in an 83-year-old Polish woman. It is, he told msnbc.com, not an extension of the clitoris, as many experts believe, but a discrete structure angling away from the urethra. First, Ostrzenski dissected a cadaver, so there is no way to know how the ropy, bluish structure he displays in his paper functioned other than that it seemed to be erectile. Second, the woman was 83-years-old, about 30 years past menopause and its dramatic hormonal shifts. Third, she is just one woman. “It’s speculation,” Dr. Amichai Kilchevsky, a Connecticut urological surgeon who has conducted his own investigation into the G-spot, says. “It is almost impossible to say what it is, based on what he describes.” It could be some sort of gland, an extension of the clitoris as some have long maintained, or something else entirely. Without any functional information or even a sexual history of the woman and whether or not she was orgasmic, nobody can claim much of anything, says the urological surgeon and researcher.

Don’t you fuck with me, doc! Don’t you fuck with me! I’ve been searching for the G-spot for like 15 years now. I’ve been hell bent on finding that shit. Like the dude from Congo who’s been looking for the City of Zinge. I’m like Jack in season 5 of LOST. Long hair, scraggly beard, mean addiction to pain killers because all I’ve been trying to do with my life is get to the G-spot. Can barely hold down a job, lost every one that’s ever meant anything to me, all because I’m searching for that fleshy patch of skin that doesn’t exist. I’ve been doing the “come hither” motion for almost 2 decades. I’ve got arthritis at the age of 27.

Oh whats that? You found it on a dead 83 year old broad? Oh great! Just fucking great! Hey doc I don’t think I’m gonna be fucking and dead 83 year olds. At least not yet. And using a fucking scalpel to find it isn’t exactly the biggest turn out. I need to find the G spot on a living breathing 27 year old girl using my fingers and/or a relatively undersized penis. When you figure that out, then you can publish all your findings and beat on your chest like you made some big discovery.

PS – I’ve blogged about the g spot a lot so I don’t know if I’ve said this before or not, but – I love how people act like finding the g spot is the key. Once you’ve found that shit you gotta know how to work it. Its like having the directions to build a nuclear bomb. You ain’t building shit unless you know what you’re doing with it.