Huff Po - They had their cake and ate it, too — but it tasted horrible. Two Florida swingers got into a battle royale after they solicited guests for sex, and stayed naked even as cops arrived to arrest them, the Hernando Daily reports. Tina Michelle Norris, 39, and her boyfriend, James Albert Barfield, 56, each brought home their own romantic partners early Monday morning. Barfield invited another woman to have sex with, while Norris invited two men. Neither of them were excited to find out about the other’s deviancy, according to the paper. After some partying, the Weeki Wachee couple allegedly lost it and began beating one another – and not in the good way. Norris sustained a bloody lip, while Barfield suffered scratch marks on his neck and back, cops told the Hernando Daily. They kicked and screamed, breaking everything in their path from one side of the house to another, their roommate said in a statement to police. The three guests left during the melee, but cops found the flustered pair at about 6 a.m. still naked and “very intoxicated and uncooperative.” Norris allegedly refused to put her clothes back on. Police charged both suspects with domestic battery. Norris was slapped with an additional count of resisting arrest.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – unless you’re dealing with actual whores you pay for, or college whores, threesomes just aren’t realistically doable. Theres just no way you can fuck another person right in front of your boyfriend or girlfriend without shit going sour. Because no matter how kinky you are, you have certain ground rules already set in your head. You already have a vision of how its gonna all go down. And the moment the orgy strays from that plan, it all goes to shit.

Like in this case, Jimmy Barfield clearly envisioned an orgy involving him and two women. He planned on a double blow job to start. Then some doggiestyle sex while the girls 69′d. Well all the sudden you hear a knock knock knock at the door and its your whore of a wife standing there with not one, but two dudes, she wants to fuck. Jimmy thought he was gonna have a sensual threesome with a beautiful woman and his girlfriend, and instead she shows up looking to do some triple penetration with some double anal. That’ll put a serious fucking damper on your threesome dreams, no? I mean talk about being on different pages.

Its just not realistic, folks. I mean you can go ahead and have tons of anonymous, one time group sex. But if you think you can bring a couple dudes to an orgy and your boyfriend is gonna roll over the next morning and kiss you on the forehead and tell you he loves you, you are outside of your mind.