Huff PoPerhaps his top-secret mission was to get completely wasted. Bradley Pope was arrested on June 3 by St. Lucie County Sheriff’s deputies in Florida after telling them he was a ‘covert agent’ who had drank 100 beers, the TC Palm reported. According to an arrest report sent to The Huffington Post, a person called sheriff’s deputies to report that an uninvited woman was swimming naked with Pope in their pool. When deputies arrived, the caller told them Pope and the woman had taken off in the caller’s car. Deputies tracked down Pope, who was slurring his speech and had other signs of intoxication, according to the report. When asked if he drank anything that evening, Pope said, “of course I’m not a drunk, I don’t get drunk,” the report stated. But when later asked how much he had to drink, Pope said he had slugged down 100 beers. Pope also said he worked for the CIA, was a covert agent who lived in Costa Rica and would soon be the president of the United States, the report stated. He also told authorities he was bipolar and wanted to kill himself. Deputies decided not to charge him with stealing the unidentified caller’s car because Pope regularly borrows it, the arrest report explained. Pope was arrested and charged with DUI.

Well. I’m not really sure if that looks like the face of a covert agent or not. And isn’t that really the whole point of being a covert agent? You think covert agents walk around like the Men In Black with dark shades and an earpiece in? Fuck no. You think they act like some emotionless robot like a Secret Service guard? For sure not. They’re covert. They need to blend in. Disappear into their surroundings. Well what better way to blend in to Florida than to drink a hundred beers and skinny dip in other people’s pools? Thats the most “Florida” behavior I’ve ever seen. I bet Bradley Pope saved the world last nite and we don’t even know it. Dude is the most undercover motherfucker you’ve ever seen. Or not seen. Who knows?