Post & CourierOn Valentine’s Day, Charleston police arrested a man twice caught having sex in a tent on Marion Square. While patrolling the grounds of Marion Square shortly after midnight on Thursday, a police officer said he stumbled upon Bryan Williams, 19, of Millersville, Maryland, and an unknown woman having sex on a bench inside of a tent. The tent was a part of the Southeastern Wildlife Exposition. The officer ordered the couple to stand up and cover their genitalia. They were unsteady on their feet and smelled of alcohol. The officer told the pair to leave the park and go home. Instead, they giggled as they walked away only to crawl into another tent. Police caught them as they were beginning to have sex for a second time. Williams and the woman crawled out from inside the tent and tried to run away, but the officer stopped them. The woman escaped, however, while the officer struggled with Williams but was able to put him in handcuffs.

I envy you, Bryan Williams. Enjoy your teenage exhibitionist sluts. If you ask me, these are the peak years of a dude’s sex career. You’re past the awkward beginner stage of fucking while bonafide whores are starting to separate themselves from the pack. Combine this with a youthful lack of regret or your own place to live and you got a recipe for banging whenever, wherever. Which brings me to my point. There’s no better sex than sex in a public place.

First, the obvious – it confirms your chick is always DTF. Second, you probably don’t need a rubber. Granted, it’s a gamble, but if you’ve never gone through a Z-Pak or sent a broad to Planned Parenthood, your dick is bored. Third, it’s always a good story. Whether it be bending her over a car in the parking lot, crammed in a bathroom stall at the bar or in the middle of the Southeastern Wildlife Exposition, you got a contribution when your boys are exchanging pussy tales. And last, but not least, your performance means nada. You’re on the clock. No time for a box lunch. Maybe you’ll get blown for 30 seconds to get you ready, but it’s a sprint. You’re basically masturbating while improving your rep with your buds & the horniest of girls. Find me a down side.