STAMFORDAn unemployed hairdresser accused of knocking out a Darien woman’s teeth with a tire iron in November pleaded not guilty to a felony assault charge Tuesday at state Superior Court in Stamford. Rhiannon Noell Stefanick, 23, of 90 Deerfield Drive, Greenwich, was arraigned on a charge of first-degree assault. Stefanick and her public defender, Barry Butler, elected a jury trial at her hearing before Judge Richard Comerford. Butler declined comment on the case. Stefanick is to return to court Feb. 14. According to her arrest affidavit, police were called to the front of Liberation House, a Main Street drug treatment facility, at 9:30 a.m. Nov. 12, where a woman was attacked by another with a metal bar. A witness said a light blue car was parked across the street for an hour or more before the victim crossed Relay Place toward Liberation House. The man said he saw a woman get out of the car and strike the victim several times in the face and head with what appeared to be a 10-inch long bar, the affidavit said. In a statement that the woman had to type because she could not speak clearly, she said she remembered a woman walking up to her and saying “I told you not to mess with my man.” The next day, the woman was able to pick out Stefanick’s picture.

A feisty little minx named Rhiannon who’s down to smash chicks with a tire iron for her man? Sign me up! Next time she’s just gotta remember to break all her fingers too so that she can’t give a witness statement. But aside from a little bit of sloppy execution on this assault she gets check pluses across the board on her report card. She’s got a real sexy vibe going. Scary eyebrows that lets you know she’s either some kind of a dark villain or a bomb went off in her face like Uncle Leo and she needed to draw them back on. Either scenario is pretty intriguing. Most importantly, you know she’s an absolute dragon in the sack, and she’s down to ruin faces with a metal pipe to defend her and her man. She’s like Gemma from Sons of Anarchy except young and hotter.

Granted all that also means you’ll have to sleep with one eye open. And yes, every time you’re fucking her, you’ll have a little inkling that she may have poisoned her pussy. But thats part of the allure. Its a love, hate thing. There’s a fine line between pleasure and pain. There’s also a fine line between banging a psychotic minx and being absolutely terrified of her. But its gotta be one hell of a ride.