TSGA South Carolina man is facing a domestic abuse charge after he allegedly threw a change jar at his live-in girlfriend when she declined his request for oral sex, according to police. Edward Patrick, 44, was arrested last night at the Spartanburg apartment he shares with Patricia Watson, 41. The woman told cops that the change jar struck her in the left elbow, “leaving a visible injury and causing it to bleed,” according to a Spartanburg Public Safety Department report.

I don’t ever advocate domestic violence but when you straight up ask for a blow job and get flat out rejected there’s no coming back from that. Like I usually sit there and quietly hope and pray for blow jobs. Before I go to bed at night I say a Hail Mary, an Our Father, and I politely request a blow job comes my way the next day. Anytime I’m not using my fingers I cross them hoping for a surprise blow task. Blow jobs are the first 10 things on my Wish List to Santa.

But I’m never gonna flat out ask for one. Because like I said once you formally request a blow job, you’ve passed the point of no return. You just open yourself to the possibility of way too much rejection. Either you’re getting a pity blow job like “Ok, fiiine” like some perverted Make A Wish charity case. Which is A-OK in my book but lets be honest its not the best suck job you’re ever gonna get. Or you’re getting rejected. Straight up Motumbo’d. And once your girlfriend looks you dead in the eye and says “No, I’d rather not suck your dick right now” its all over. You either gotta break up with her or throw your piggy bank at her. But either way that relationship is over.