SOUTH SALT LAKE —  A man who was invited to spend the night at an acquaintance’s house was arrested after police say the homeowner awoke to find the man attacking his daughter’s pet rabbit with a sword. Jason Shawn Price, 49, was arrested for investigation of aggravated assault and cruelty to animals. Price was invited to spend the night with a friend of the family, said South Salt Lake police detective Gary Keller. The homeowner was awoken about 5 a.m. Tuesday to the sound of his daughter screaming. When the homeowner went to investigate, he found Price trying to hold a pet rabbit down with one hand and a 2 ½ foot sword in the other, Keller said. Price was trying to kill the rabbit, according to a Salt Lake County Jail report. ”The victim confronted Jason, who then sliced the victim’s hand with the sword and then fled the home,” the report states. Investigators found Price several blocks away and arrested him. ”Jason had blood on his hands and made comments about killing rabbits and cutting peoples’ fingers without police questioning him,” the report states. The homeowner suffered a 1-inch cut on his index finger, Keller said. ”The rabbit did have a gimpy hop after the attack,” the report states.

People who own rabbits and weird animals like that are fucking strange. You bring rodents or vermin or varmints into you house and you’re welcoming the wild into your living space. I guess it doesn’t surprise me that the same family that has a pet rabbit invited some sword wielding drifter to stay in their house either. But bottom line there are only certain pets you should have in your house.

List of acceptable pets to live in your house with you:

Dogs

List of unacceptable pets to live in your house with you:

Rabbits

Guinea pigs

Hamsters

Chinchillas

Gerbils

Mice

Rats

FERRETS. Fucking ferrets are disgusting. If let one live in your house you are certifiably insane.

Birds

Snakes

Lizards

Turtles

Cats

Fish. Actually a cool aquarium ain’t bad but whats the point of having fish? Its more like a glorified decoration than a pet.

So thats it. Thats the list of animals you should live with vs. animals that should be left in the wild. Dogs are domesticated. Dogs are born to be inside with humans to relax and hang out and stuff. The rest of the rodents and reptiles of the world should not be in your living quarters. Like people who have giant 6 foot boa constrictors inside like a heated glass cage? Those people are absolutely psychotic. Birds chirping and squawking all day unless you cover it with a blanket so it goes to sleep? Sounds like an awesome pet. Rats and gerbils and other rodents running around? Nothing like treating your home as if it was a subway tunnel. Fucking gross. If I was in someone’s house and I had a sword and any of those animals came creeping by me I’d probably slice them up too.