Bristol – ADISABLED man with a liking for pornography took the police to court to demand they return his huge collection of explicit adult movies. Police arrested Anthony Gerrard, right, three times on suspicion of possessing indecent images of children, seizing six PCs and laptops. Although 11 illegal pictures were found on four hard drives, they had been downloaded automatically to parts of the computers Mr Gerrard could not have accessed without specialist tools or techniques. Not pressing any charges, officers returned two of the computers but kept the ones containing child pornography and took Mr Gerrard to court for the forfeiture and destruction of the hard drives. Last July, District Judge David Parsons found in the police’s favour, but Mr Gerrard, 59, appealed in a bid to get his computers – containing 888GB of adult movies and thousands (2.5GB) of adult pornographic images – back. Police are not allowed to return hard drives with child pornography on them, because they would then be distributing illegal material. Mr Gerrard, of Broadfield Road, Knowle, argued they could have deleted the child pornography or transferred them to another device and given him the adult images back. Explaining to The Post what he wanted, Mr Gerrard said: “If they gave me my computers back, instead of searching the internet I could just search my own computers. I wouldn’t have time to search the internet. “I paid £40 for a month’s subscription to a website and I was downloading films from it day and night. I wanted to get my money’s worth. “I’m not interested in child porn. I don’t think it’s fair they are keeping my computers when I haven’t done anything illegal.  ”They cost me a couple of thousand pounds in total. Every time the police took two computers away, I would buy another two.” Mr Gerrard, who has been married four times and is estranged from his son, added: “The good thing about having a computer is you can switch it off when you’ve finished – you can’t switch off a wife.”

Can’t we just throw Anthony Gerrard a bone here? Dude is already disabled. He’s already been married 4 fucking times. I mean just look at him. If Bill Murray were to play a Hobbit in the next Lord of the Rings movie, it would be Tony Gerrard. Just give the guy his goddam computers. And yes I know this day in age its a serious red flag to have thousands of hours of porn saved on to a desktop PC computer, but in some way I can’t really fault this poor son of a bitch. If you’re browsing your own personal porn collection you never gotta worry about the weird shit. Have you seen the front page of YouJizz these days? Its like 75% pixelated Asians. Just cluttering up the good stuff. There’s all sorts of weird movies with words like “Futanari” that are just tempting me to get weird and watch it. If I could just sift through a Dewey Decimal System of all my normal porn it would probably be better for everyone.

Now obviously I’m not gonna do that because I’m not a social misfit serial murderer. All I’m saying is that for a crippled hobbit who’s been divorced 4 times, maybe we should just give the guy his fucking computer. Like giving the dog a chew toy to play with. Let him keep himself occupied. Because when this guy finds a 5th wife because he couldn’t get his personal porn fix and we find her chopped up in a freezer and he says he was just “switching her off,” that blood is gonna be on the hands of the State.