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THOUSAND OAKS, Calif. (AP) - A 39-year-old Southern California man has been arrested for misdemeanor child annoyance after allegedly paying a teenager $31 to spit in his face. The Ventura County Sheriff’s Department says Charles Hersel was arrested Wednesday in a sting operation at a mall in Thousand Oaks. He’s free from jail pending a court hearing.  A sheriff’s statement says Westlake High School students claimed Hersel paid them to yell profanities, spit and slap him in the face. Several also claimed he offered them cash to urinate and defecate on him.  A motive wasn’t clear.  Authorities say Hersel contacted some teens through the MySpace social networking site.

“Child annoyance?”  We’re seriously gonna call this a crime?  Find me one teenager in America that would actually be annoyed for getting 31 bucks just to spit on some slob’s face and then we can call this a crime.  Do you know the sort of shit I’d do for $31 dollars when I was a kid?  You could be like 15 cases of Steel Reserve for that kinda dough.   I’ll spit on a baby’s face for that sort of cashflow at the age of 15.

PS – I wonder what this guy’s marketing/negotiating technique is.  I mean does he just flat out tell you “If you take a shit on me I’ll give you $6.”?  Or does he start out with some other run of the mill, small talk, tidbit “oh hey kids how about this weather” and then ease into the defecation request.  Because the last thing you wanna do when you’re looking to get pissed on is scare away your target.  It’s important to build rapport and gain trust BEFORE discussing the terms of your deal.  See this is the kinda shit they teach you in business school.