Huff Po – A Florida man has been arrested for child abuse after allegedly beating his three kids with a belt because one of them passed gas in his car. Police in Deland, Fla., arrested Austin Davis last week and charged him with three counts of aggravated battery for beating his kids after one of them passed gas in the car and no one would say who did it, WESH.com reported. Deputies reported photographs of the injuries showed a 6-year-old with several dark bruises on the buttocks, legs and thighs, while a 12-year-old had dark bruises on his legs and thighs. A 9-year-old refused to have pictures of his bruises taken because he feared retaliation if Davis found out he reported the incident, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal.
Has the whole world gone mad? In the past year I’ve seen more fart related Barstool articles than in all the other years combined. We’ve had government employees getting fired for farting. We’ve got girls beating each other to death for accusing each other of farting. Can’t forget about the dude in Jersey who pulled a gun on his neighbor for farting. And what about the Swedish women? They’ll turn down sex if they even think there’s a chance they might fart. And here we are – just days away from 2013 – and we see this guy beating all three of his children because one kid hot boxed the car. Get a grip, people! Farting is a natural occurrence. Its like sneezing out of your asshole. Nobody gets embarrassed when they sneeze, do they? Nobody pulls a gun or beats someone to death or abuses their kids when they sneeze. Nobody turns down sex because there’s a chance they might sneeze while getting fucked. No. So why are people so touching about farting? Its just a little ah-choo out of your butthole that stinks for 45 seconds. We can’t go killing each other over that.
But how about the Davis kids. So adamant about not being the one that farted they’re all willing to get the belt for it. I don’t know whether to be impressed or appalled. On the one hand I admire the stubbornness. I mean, those kids were not getting blamed for that fart. One of them crop dusted that car and was willing to let his siblings go down for his sins. Part of me thinks thats a pretty cowardly move but part of me thinks thats incredible dedication to not getting caught farting. Like not one of those kids was willing to be the hero to save his brother and sister because that would mean he’d get laughed at for having a smelly asshole. And if there’s one thing in this world people hate, its being pinned as the one who did ducks. Its right up there with public speaking. You know the old saying “People would rather die than speak in public?” Well the same goes for farting. People would rather get beaten than admit they ripped off a silent but deadly.