(The Weekly Vice)Wayne Sandle, a 36-year-old Arizona man has been jailed after he allegedly beat his girlfriend, gave her two options of how she wanted to die. According to Phoenix police, an argument broke out between Sandle and his girlfriend when he discovered that she wasn’t wearing a piece of jewelry he had given to her. In retaliation, Sandle allegedly put the woman in a choke-hold and squeezed her neck until she fell unconscious. When the woman woke up Sandle slapped her across the face, causing a black eye and an abrasion to her right cheek. Sandle then offered the woman a choice of two ways to die. Death by strangulation or by stabbing.

Maybe Wayne Sandle went a little too far with the whole murder thing, but at the same time I really don’t think he did. There’s not much worse than buying a gift for someone and they don’t appreciate it. Wayne spent a lot of time and money picking out the perfect gift. Probably shopped around a bunch of different stores checking out carat, cut, color and clarity. Finally found the perfect one and what does his ungrateful girlfriend do? Throws it into her jewelry case with the rest of her grandmother’s trash. It would be enough to drive any man insane, much less a man with eyebrows like Wario. So yeah I guess murder should always be a last resort, but when a man reaches a breaking point he reaches a breaking point. Just be grateful he offered you a choice and take strangulation over stabbing all day every day. And whether you like it or not, you can be damn sure you’ll be wearing that jewelry in your coffin.