LODI, Calif. – Lodi police arrested Shawn Batie, 42, at 9:41 p.m. on Friday night after they said he was found under the influence of methamphetamines.Officers responded to a call in the area of Beckman Road just north of Harney Lane where a man later identified as Batie was found standing in the dirt next to the cemetery with a flashlight, yelling in the dark. Police said that Batie was wearing an Oakland Raiders jacket, a g-string and a hair scrunchie around his genitals. He was also wearing socks.Officers said that he was very jittery and his pupils were dilated. They took him into custody on suspicion of being under the influence, which was later confirmed at the jail where it was discovered that he was also a parolee at-large, police said.While en route to the jail, officers said that Batie became very uncooperative. When asked why he wasn’t wearing pants, police said that he insisted that “they must have been taken.”Police said once at the jail, Batie proceeded to smear his feces on the walls.

Honestly, how do you go out in public like that? How do you take one look at yourself in the mirror wearing an Oakland Raiders jacket and say “Yup, this is what I’m gonna wear to go scream at the cemetery tonite.” They’re the Oakland fucking Raiders for God’s sake. They’re the most dysfunctional franchise in all of sports. They gave JaMarcus Russell a billion dollars. Their coaches punch each other in the face. Their owner is a member of the undead. You should just be embarrassed to go out in public sporting their gear. The only thing that is worse than this is if you smoked a bunch of crystal meth, put on your g string and socks, tied your dick into a ponytail, and threw on a New York Mets starter jacket. Thats literally the only worse outfit you could put together.

Again with the socks, too. Anytime there’s a story about dudes who masturbate in public or expose their dicks they are almost always wearing socks with no pants. Like these pedophile rapist voyeurs just cannot stand their feet being cold or something. I’d say there’s almost a direct correlation between sex offenders wearing socks and the smearing of shit on prison walls. I bet there’s some janitor at all these prisons that see these guys come in sporting those white tube socks with the red and blue stripes at the top and they just roll their eyes and go grab the mop.