San Antonio, TX - Jonathon Rodriguez, a 28-year-old Texas man was jailed Saturday after he allegedly ran his girlfriend down with an automobile after she broke up with him. According to police, Rodriguez became angry when his girlfriend announced that she was breaking off her relationship with him. Investigators say Rodriguez retaliated by cursing and yelling at the woman. When that didn’t change her mind, he allegedly hopped into a car, punched the gas and ran her over as she walked along a sidewalk. Rodriguez showed his undying love for the woman by fleeing the scene as she lay injured. The woman was taken to a local hospital where she was treated for a broken leg and other minor injuries.

Reminds me of the time Costanza tried to break up with Maura. Its like launching missiles from a submarine…we both have to turn our key. Except this dude ran over her with a car. Big difference there. Jonathon listened to her arguments, and they were rambling and flimsy. He wasn’t convinced. He wasn’t ready to turn his key.

Which brings us to yet another Seinfeld lesson and thats of course that breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. If you try to break up with someone and they respond by cursing and yelling at you, its too early in the break up. Just like a relationship, the break up has phases. You wouldn’t expect someone to move in with you after a week of dating, right? Of course not. Well then you can’t expect someone to break up with you after your first break up attempt. If you try to split up and their reaction is cursing and yelling, you’ve made progress but you’re not broken up yet. They aren’t gonna turn their key if they’re hysterical. You need to agree to try and work it out, because clearly that person is emotionally unstable at the moment. If you power through that first phase and try to make the break up stick on one shot, don’t be surprised when you get mowed down by a Civic with a body kit and a loud muffler.