The ChroniclePolice said an argument over stinky feet between roommates led to an assault Monday evening.  According to Richmond County sheriff’s Lt. Blaise Dresser, Darryl Harris, 56, accused his roommate Crawford Jackson, 61, of having stinky feet around 11:30 p.m. at their home on Cedar Street. Police said Jackson grabbed a small knife and jabbed it three times into Harris’ stomach and cut his finger. Police said the assault barely broke the skin on Harris’ stomach but a cut to the finger was noted. Jackson has been booked into the Richmond County Jail on charges of aggravated assault and possession of a knife during the commission of a crime.

Plain and simple – if you are above the age of 55 and living with another dude as a roommate, there is inevitably going to be a stabbing. I’m a 27 year old dude living a relatively happy life and there are times I wanna stab my roommates. Imagine if you’re a 65 year old failure at life living with another dude? You probably wanna stab anyone and everyone. It might be over not taking out the garbage. It might be because they are too loud. Might be a dispute over the television. But bottom line is two 60 year old dudes who got nothin better to do than live with each other are on a crash course for violent stabbings one way or the other. You’re essentially married at that stage in the game – only difference is most husbands have that “This bitch has some nerve accusing me of having stinky feet, but I’m not gonna fucking stab her over it.” But if you’re a grown ass Crawford Jackson and Darryl Harris is shitting on your feet and challenging your honor, whats to stop you from shanking him in the stomach? Its a fair fight. Man-to-man. He started it. You’re gonna finish it.

This is the real problem with gay marriage. Yea gay dudes, its all roses now when you’re 30 years old and in shape and happy in your relationship and now you’re allowed to get married. But 30 years from now when you’re both 60 and both hate each other like everyone in a long term relationship, its gonna be a fucking bloodbath. First set of stinky toes on the coffee table and its gonna be a massacre.