TC PalmA 54-year-old man was arrested after sheriff’s investigators say he threatened to kick a neighbor’s buttocks after moving his bowels. What could be called the case of the post poop planned posterior pummeling played out June 17 on Monterey Way in Port St. Lucie, recently released records state. Robert Gabriel Gernot, 54, ultimately was arrested on a misdemeanor assault charge. “When I get done taking a (poop), I am going to kick your (expletive) (buttocks),” Gernot is quoted as telling a 40-year-old neighbor. Gernot, of Monterey Way, initially told a St. Lucie County Sheriff’s deputy the neighbor came to his home and began a conversation. “I told him I was in a bad mood and didn’t want to talk,” Gernot is quoted as telling a deputy. “He threatened to beat my (buttocks).” Gernot told the deputy he didn’t feel afraid, but wanted the deputy to tell the neighbor not to bother him that day. Meanwhile, the neighbor told a deputy he planted a plant in Gernot’s mother’s yard. “I gave Gernot a beer and cigarette,” the neighbor told a deputy. “He started calling his mother a dirty whore.”

I feel like there are certain rules and a certain code that needs to be followed when it comes to warfare. Rules of Engagement, war crimes, if you will. In boxing there are no low blows. In MMA there is no eye gouging. These are all sorts of guidelines that all self respecting men will follow when engaged in a fair fight.

Well I think letting your opponent shit first falls under that umbrella. Everyone knows you need to take a pre-game shit before you do anything important. Allowing your adversary to poop before the fight begins is just a basic level of human decency I expect from any honorable man. Otherwise, even if you win, you’ve got an asterisk next to your name. You’re the guy who beat up the dude who had an ass full of shit. Might as well just beat up on girls or something. Let the dude clear his pipes and fight like a man, fair and square.