ORANGE CITY, Fla. - An Orange City man was arrested on allegations of trying to kill his wife by sticking her face in their dog’s water bowl and drowning her. Richard Watson, 47, was arrested Tuesday on charges of committing a felony that could cause death, felony battery and battery charges. According to Orange City police, Watson’s wife asked her husband to watch TV with her, and she later brought him dinner. Police said Watson complained about his meal and threw it on the ground before tackling his wife and putting her head in the dog’s water bowl.  He held his wife’s head in the bowl until she nearly passed out, according to police, who said he then choked her. Watson’s wife told police that she believed her husband was trying to kill her.  The dog bowl was 5 inches across and about 3 inches deep, “enough for a face to fit in,” police said. Watson’s wife had red marks on her face and abrasions on her neck, Orange City police said. Watson was arrested and taken to the Volusia County Jail.

Sometimes you just wanna watch TV by yourself, I get that. Your chick sits down and immediately starts with the “wait, who is that?” “Why did he kill that guy?”  ”Do you think she’s hot? I think she’s ugly.” Blah blah blahhhhhh. Laughing out loud at weird stuff and talking during the show. It can be awful. When guys “watch TV together” that just means they are sitting in the same room looking at the same TV. Sometimes there’s no talking for hours on end. You can forget all together that there’s another person in the room. But “watching TV together” with a chick is like a social event. Chit chatting and questions and making noise. Bitch Jax Teller is about to kill someone shut the fuck up before I drown you in the dog’s bowl!

But I can’t back this whole “complaining about the meal” portion of the drowning. I can get down with virtually any food that anybody will bring me when I’m watching TV. Beggars can’t be choosers, bro. And when I’m parked on the couch in front of the tube I am most certainly a beggar. You know the old phrase don’t bite the hand that feeds you? Well I’m pretty sure biting and drowning the face of the person trying to feed you are in the same ballpark.