Seattle – A five-time convicted flasher may have thought he found a way out of another charge when he was arrested in a North Seattle park last month. Confronted by Seattle police after a report that he was masturbating in Cowen Park, Tracy J. McDonald purportedly blamed the weather. At 5:45 p.m. on Aug. 8, a 23-year-old woman walking her dog spotted McDonald topless with his pants around his ankles, Seattle Detective Donna Stangeland said in court documents. McDonald was masturbating, the woman told police, and staring at her. Police arrived and found McDonald, who claimed he was sunbathing. “He said he was getting ‘some sun,’” Stangeland told the court. “There was absolutely no sun where he was standing.”

Clearly Detective Donna Stangeland is unaware how awful a set of pale man thighs can look. Nothing more disgusting than my man thighs in the summer time. Cream cheese white from my waist to my knees. I look like a fucking Oreo in the summer. Dark on top and the bottom, ghost white in the middle. I look absolutely hideous naked. I feel bad for anyone who has to see me without clothes on. Now I’m not saying I’m gonna go lather my dick up with some Coppertone SPF 8 and stand in the park like this Harry Connick Jr.Troy Aikman (Commenter out-funnied me on that one) lookin motherfucker. But I’m just saying man tan lines, I call them Manlines, can be downright disgusting. Its like topless sunbathing for chicks except you’re bronzing your dick and balls.