WECT TV6-WECT.com:News, weather

GAFFNEY, SC (FOX Carolina) – A Gaffney woman said she was in a bind and needed some quick cash when she decided to go door-to-door selling pornographic videotapes. Jeanette Ellis, 52, said she found a box of dirty movies on her street, and watched a few of them before she hit the streets. “I said, ‘I’ll sell them to somebody who might want them,’” Ellis told FOX Carolina’s Greg Funderburg. “I was going to get like $5 for them. There [were] like 15 tapes.” Ellis said her money-making effort was quashed when she knocked on the door of one home, where someone had called the police. “I waited outside, and the police showed up,” Ellis said. Ellis was charged with not having a permit to solicit sales.

Has there ever been a worse snitch than the house that called the police on Jeanette Ellis? Absolutely doing no harm to anybody. You don’t wanna buy her porn? A simple “no thanks” would work. She’s basically like a Girl Scout going door to door peddling her product except instead of some overrated cookies she’s slangin VHS porn. Kind of a niche market, yes. Probably a hard sell trying to deal any type of VHS tapes at all, but whatever. There’s a market for everything. Just because you’re not interested in buying Boner Jams ’03 from this old meth head prostitute doesn’t mean someone down the block doesn’t want to. This is America. Free market. Supply and Demand. Adam Smith. Horatio Alger and all that shit. Warren Buffet used to go door to door selling chewing gum and Coca Cola and look at him now. Maybe that box of old school porn was Jeanette Ellis’ ticket out of the struggle into the world of business. Now we’ll never know.

PS – Saying she just found that box of porn on the side of the road is the greatest lie ever told.