Huff Po – Good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let your girlfriend choke you. Tina Rucker, 42, was arrested for allegedly choking Roger Beene, 49, after Beene hogged the blanket they were sharing in bed. The Myrtle Beach woman was charged with domestic violence on Wednesday night, according to a police report. Police said when they arrived, Beene had obvious signs of being choked and was bleeding on his neck where Rucker’s nails had held him. The report noted that Rucker was “highly intoxicated and did not want to cooperate with police.”

Look, plain and simple, humans were not meant to sleep together. Its not natural. Its not right. Its just not the way God intended it. Everyone should, at the very least, have their own bed, and if we’re gonna do it right, everyone should have their own bedroom. Too much shit happens throughout the whole sleeping process. First of all, for like 12 straight years I cracked stick before I went to sleep. Just as a little night cap to release all my tension before I catch some Zs. Now I’m sharing a bed with someone and thats not exactly in the cards. So right off the bat I’m all out of whack. Then once its lights out, its just too much of a production to have someone sleeping 2 feet away. You get hot and kick off the covers, you get cold and pull them back up. You’re tossing and turning. Flipping pillows. I talk in my sleep, I walk in my sleep. Sometimes you gotta fart. And guess what? The person next to you is doing all that same shit. I’m sure every time I sleep-fart my girlfriend wants to strangle me and every time she’s kicking me under the covers I wanna tie her feet together and push her overboard. Its just two people just completely spazzing out for like 45 minutes before they zonk out. Why is that an experience that needs to be shared?

There’s just absolutely no reason that sleeping in the same bed needs to be one of these societal standards that everyone conforms to. We’re already pressured into monogamy. We’re already pressured into pro-creating. Why do we have to be pressured into the same goddam bed? Everyone should get their own blankets and pillows and privacy while they go through their whole routine before they fall asleep. This way every gets a little more shut eye and nobody wakes up bleeding from their neck. Its 2013 people. Lets get with the times.