Lilbourn, MOMelissa Eaton, a 48-year-old Missouri woman was jailed after she allegedly had sex with a 13-year-old boy (twice a week) for nearly two years. According to police, Eaton began a sexual relationship with a 13-year-old boy in April 201o and continued having sex with the boy – twice a week – until February 2012. An investigation was launched after juvenile authorities contacted police about the alleged relationship. Eaten was booked into the New Madrid County Jail and charged with multiple counts of statutory rape and sodomy.

Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof! This bitch looks like Bowser from Mario Brothers. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a spiked turtle shell on her back and threw hammers at people.

The bad news for this 13 year old boy is that you had sex over 200 times with literally the ugliest woman in the history of existence. The good news is that sex can only go up from here. You started your sexual career at a very early age, and you did so in the worst fashion imaginable. You could have sex with a warthog next and it would still be a step up from this disaster of a human. I guess the real question is, if you were 13 years old, do you think you would have fucked Melissa Eaton?  I mean I can remember trying to put my dick in the vacuum hose when I was that age I was so freakin horny. I would have put my dick in just about anything that would have gotten my rocks off. But even I don’t think I could have fucked this beast. Not even once. Let alone twice a week for 2 years.