NBC ConnecticutMonroe police have charged a Maine woman with sexual assault after a teen’s parents complained that their son was having a sexual relationship with a woman in her 20s. The then-14 year-old boy and Cassandra Grant, then 21, of Rockland, Maine, met in March 2011 while playing a PlayStation 3 game online, police said. The relationship escalated as they texted, met on webcam and spoke on the phone, police said. In December 2011, the two met and had intercourse, police said. It was around this time that the teen’s parents learned that Grant was actually 21, police said. Monroe police and the Maine State Police Computer Crimes Unit investigated and police applied for an arrest warrant. Grant, now 22, turned herself in to Monroe Police on Monday and was released after posting a $10,000 bond.  She was charged with second-degree sexual assault and injury/risk impairing morals. She is scheduled to appear in court on March 21. It is not clear if Grant has a lawyer. The Monroe Patch reports that the game was “Call of Duty.”

Goddamit was I born in the wrong era. I spent like every single day from age 6 to 15 playing video games. Closest I ever got to getting laid was when I jerked off to Mario 64 because all the sudden Princess Peach was 3-D. Nowadays kids just pop on their headsets and play a little Call To Warcraft: Assassin’s Duty and next thing you know they’re balls deep in some broad. Not fair.

Although I suppose thats what its like when grown men look at my generation and they are like “Can you believe how much pussy we would have gotten with texting and facebook??” I can just see dads across the world commiserating with each other than when they were trying to get laid they didn’t have a online network of millions of girls looking for attention and no form or harmless, painless communication where you can slowly convince chicks to have sex with you. So I guess its just important to remember what your forefathers had to go through without the aid of the newest technology.

I can’t wait for this generation of kids fucking girls they find on Call of Duty or Words With Friends are complaining about how easy it is for the guys younger then them. Kids below them are gonna be able to just straight up stick their dicks inside of the computer somehow and get a blow job.