Daily Mail - Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and a woman scorned knows the best place to hurt a man is in his pants. At least that’s how Maryann Scott, 49, from Vero Beach, Miami, got her revenge on her husband when he took a $15,000 ring he had given her and hid it. When she noticed the ring was missing, she allegedly picked up a knife and then ‘firmly grabbed his left testicle and refused to let go for two minutes’. Scott’s husband, who has not been named, called 911 after his testicle was freed and later took a picture of his crotch, which showed ‘red marks and bruising’ from Scott ‘grabbing it and holding it so hard’, according to the affidavit. When the husband showed the photograph to a sheriff’s official, they arrested her and charged her with battery. According to TCPalm.com, Scott’s husband said the couple have been experiencing marital issues and says he wants to file for divorce.

Ordinarily you’d expect me to side with the dude who got his ballsack crushed for a couple minutes, but did he or did he not hide her engagement ring? I fuckin hate pranks like that. Just blatant disrespect directly intending to piss me off. This chick was probably like, you grabbed something of mine in order to inconvenience me for a few minutes, so I’m grabbing something of yours as payback.

Plus fucking with a chick’s engagement ring is no joke. Imagine if someone just swiped a pile of $15,000 cash from you? You’d be grabbing balls and kicking pussies too if that happened to you. Matter of fact, I don’t even think thats a harsh enough retaliation. Because lets be honest, I don’t know if the market value of my ballsack even approaches 15 grand. Seriously if you put my nuts on eBay I think I’d get no more than like 7500 bucks. The Kelley Blue Book value of this smut peddler’s junk is like $10,000 and there’s been some serious depreciation on these things. So if I’m this dude, I would just consider myself lucky that she let go of my worthless testicles after 2 minutes and I’d give her that shit back.