Huff Po – A Florida woman was arrested after she allegedly pooped in a man’s backyard and took a skinny dip in his swimming pool. Cheryl Beauchamp, 35, was detained Thursday and charged with burglary, according to the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office. The Palm Bay homeowner called police after he said he spotted Beauchamp on a home surveillance system, Click Orlando reported. He told officers he witnessed Beauchamp defecate in the yard before using a rock to cut the screen door that led to the pool. Beauchamp allegedly told police she was “just taking a bath because she was homeless,” according to a report obtained by WESH. Officers say she added that she was on her way to Washington D.C. to yell at Barack Obama.

Cheryl Beauchamp can shit in my swimming pool any time she wants. And I’m not saying that in the usual sense like “she’s so hot she can do whatever she wants.” I’m saying that if this dyke wants to shit in my yard and bathe in my pool there’s absolutely nothing I can do to stop her. Bitch looks like Owen Hart. Depending on how tall she is, and whether she can hand a sword, she could probably take out Lady Stark’s bodyguard on Game of Thrones. No way I’d try to stop her myself. I’d call the police right away. I might even call animal control for this one.

All I know is Obama is probably resting easy knowing this chick was caught shitting in a pool before she could make it to D.C. I’d rather  have Al Qaeda targeting me than this bull dyke.