NYDN – A Canadian professor is claiming that he was attacked by employees at a McDonald’s in Paris over his digital eyeglasses, which are permanently attached to his skull. Steve Mann, described as “the world’s first cyborg,” is the inventor of the EyeTap. The device enhances his vision and transmits information directly to his retina. Writing on his blog this week, the University of Toronto professor said he and his family went into a McDonald’s on Avenue Champs Elysees on July 1 and was questioned about the EyeTap by a man claiming to be an employee. Mann said he showed the man a doctor’s note explaining the device and was allowed to order. After he and his family sat down to eat, however, “another person within McDonalds physically assaulted me,” he claimed on his blog. “He angrily grabbed my eyeglass, and tried to pull it off my head,” Mann wrote, adding that the EyeTap cannot be removed without special tools. The alleged assailant then brought Mann over to two other people, one of whom wore a McDonald’s uniform. They reviewed his doctor’s note, destroyed it, and then kicked him out of the restaurant, according to Mann. The EyeTap device captured photos of the three men, one of whom concealed his nametag when Mann noticed it, he said. Mann said he tried contacting McDonald’s about the incident to no avail.

Why did these man randomly attack the Cyborg Professor? Because he’s a fuckin dork, thats why. Its like the kid who got wedgies in elementary school and everyone called him 4 Eyes, except now its a grown ass man walking around with a fuckin robot helmet strapped to his dome. Hey Professor don’t you get it bro? You’re a creepy loser. You’re walking around town trying to be like RoboCop or the Terminator and people don’t like it one bit. Chicks probably think you’ve got x-ray vision and are looking through their clothes. People probably think you’re snapping pictures of their kids or something. What the fuck else would you be doing with those goddam binoculars hooked on your schnoz?

On an unrelated note, you think Cyborg Professor gets laid? I know thats the most played out question in Barstool history, but this time you really gotta wonder – does this guy’s permanent cyborg spectacles get this guy laid? I can’t imagine any chick who’s not an android would fuck this dude and his robot helmet.