Daily Mail - A millionaire cocaine addict who retired abroad at the age of just 36 after making his fortune has been jailed after police found a haul of drugs hidden in his luxury car. Property developer James Brown’s habit was so bad his nose collapsed after nine years of daily cocaine use. The 45-year-old has now been jailed for five years after a haul of cocaine was found hidden in the air vents and folding roof of his luxury Bentley. Brown was arrested by police in his Bentley Continental convertible as he stayed in a luxury hotel once owned by Men Behaving Badly star Neil Morrissey. He was found with more cocaine and a collection of illegal guns in the hotel. Prosecutor Craig Jones said: ‘Brown, through property dealing, became very wealthy and at 36 retired to Portugal where he was introduced to cocaine.’ Swansea Crown Court heard how Brown used his ‘legitimate money’ to fund his cocaine addiction. But he snorted so much cocaine on a daily basis it led to paranoia, heart problems and severe deformity of his nose at the drug ate away the cartilage of his septum in his nostrils.

The Reverse Pres! What do you think happens when this guy sneezes? You think the snot just backfires? Shoots back up into his brain or something? Or you think his nose skin is all soft and floppy and when he breathes in and out that it inflates and deflates like someone breathing into a brown paper bag? How can you even get more cocaine up in that schnoz? You gotta prop those nostrils open and just stick it all the way up? I just can’t imagine being a millionaire with a cocaine habit and no nose to snort it with. Thats like some Alanis Morrisette shit. 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife. All the money in the world. All the cocaine in the world. No nose to put it it. Like a tragic play or poem right there.

PS – Maybe thats Pres’ solution? Just develop a nasty cocaine habit? Collapse that septum and trim that cartilage and he might have a normal sized nose