Does This Look The Face Of A Man Who Tried To Get Blow Jobs From Five Cows?
Philly.com – If animals could talk, a few cows in Burlington County might ask state legislators to hurry up and outlaw bestiality. During a bizarre hearing there yesterday, a Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in rural Southampton in 2006, claiming a grand jury couldn’t infer whether the cows had been “tormented” or “puzzled” by the situation or even irritated that they’d been duped out of a meal. ”If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, ‘Where’s the milk? I’m not getting any milk,’ ” Judge James J. Morley asked. Children, Morley said, seemed “comforted” when given pacifiers, but there’s no way to know what bovine minds thought of Robert Melia Jr. substituting his member for a cow’s teat. ”They [children] enjoy the act of suckling,” the judge said. “Cows may be of a different disposition.” Burlington County Assistant County Prosecutor Kevin Morgan was certainly irritated by the ruling, claiming the grand jury didn’t see the videos of the alleged incident, including one in which one hungry calf allegedly head-butts Melia in the stomach. ”I think any reasonable juror could infer that a man’s penis in the mouth of a calf is torment,” Morgan argued. “It’s a crime against nature.”
Well I think Prosecutor Kevin Morgan is making a rather large assumption here, no? Judge James Morely is right – Who knows WHAT a calf would think about blowing a human man. Maybe it wouldn’t be puzzled or tormented at all. Maybe bovines like giving head. Maybe if they had the cognitive ability to speak, they’d ask “are you gonna return the favor?” or “when will I see you again?” I’d like to think of myself as a reasonable juror, and I’m on board with that whole sucking dick = sucking a pacifier. Might even use that line on chicks from now on. ”C’mon baby its just like a pacifier.”
PS – This dude also sexually assaulted three girls and one boy. Probably should lock up this calf fucker at some point for one of these various charges, huh Pennsylvania?
KFC | Random Thoughts | 09/24/09, 1:40 pm |
47 People have left comments on this post
Steak? what the fuck
not me, cows bite… bitches
steak, that is a terrible mustache.
Thats awful steak … i can picture you laying back on a haystack, lip full of skoal, getting bj’s from cows. Unreal.
ok, but other than that?..
» SteakNShake said: { Sep 24, 2009 – 01:09:26 }
i only date younger men
Steak, your not getting out of this one.
imposter!!!!
Steak, what does their tongue feel like?
sos pad
steak = the gay, hick hugh hefner.
i bet it’s rough
“even irritated that they’d been duped out of a meal.”
same shit happened on the boston site. cows like to be fed.
cow tongue = gravel road
Do you french them when you’re done?
do those stuck up bitches swallow?
define “done”..
How much does a cow cost?
do you every invite the other police officer to join?
steak’s cows don’t make any noises when they fart.
depends on what kind of cow ‘tox, you thinkin spitter or swallower??
Definetly a spitter, i love my own cum spit back in my mouth after i am done
you sick mofo!!!!
on that note, i’m going to get something to make a turd out of before i pass out… KFC stop with the cow shit, no mas
GWH, you ever get off on a catfish?
nope. their whiskers are worse than amish bush.
steak, you’re not fooling anyone. you may say you’re going to eat, but we all know this story gave you a chub and you’re off to get rid of it.
Imposter!!! = pretty funny
Amish Bush > George W. Bush
oooh political! how risque!
Boys > cows
Lil’ Kim = cow
Carly > Hayley….NYBSS > BBSS
BBSS = very quetionable decision making
I > Detox
I love the Yankees!
When i wipe my ass and my finger poke through the TP … i smell that finger for the rest of the day.
610, just because you work with that crippled dudes father does not mean you are better than detox. I am the only one that can give detox a run for his money.
haha, that finger comment is fucking hilarios, good one Detox
Windy, I wasn’t referring to jizz-swallowing capabilities. I know there’s few that can come close to you and your boy…
DTNDML – if i ever see your sorry ass, i’ll penetrate it.
610 – DTNGML thinks it’s funny to be an imposter
???? i am not impersonating anyone
Hahaha son of a bitch…just when I think I’m onto things…
My comment still is appropo though. I’d never compare myself you you two when it comes to gurgling man juice.
Pretty sure I’d beat a cow though…
DTNGML cut the shit, it’s getting old.
FOR FUTURE REFERENCE
Anything under my screen name that you deem unfunny, dumb, gay, etc…that’s an imposter.
Detox, the shits been cut, it’s not fucking me
Probably a cow.
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