JINDICT03a

Philly.com – If animals could talk, a few cows in Burlington County might ask state legislators to hurry up and outlaw bestiality.  During a bizarre hearing there yesterday, a Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in rural Southampton in 2006, claiming a grand jury couldn’t infer whether the cows had been “tormented” or “puzzled” by the situation or even irritated that they’d been duped out of a meal.  ”If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, ‘Where’s the milk? I’m not getting any milk,’ ” Judge James J. Morley asked.  Children, Morley said, seemed “comforted” when given pacifiers, but there’s no way to know what bovine minds thought of Robert Melia Jr. substituting his member for a cow’s teat.  ”They [children] enjoy the act of suckling,” the judge said. “Cows may be of a different disposition.” Burlington County Assistant County Prosecutor Kevin Morgan was certainly irritated by the ruling, claiming the grand jury didn’t see the videos of the alleged incident, including one in which one hungry calf allegedly head-butts Melia in the stomach.  ”I think any reasonable juror could infer that a man’s penis in the mouth of a calf is torment,” Morgan argued. “It’s a crime against nature.”

Well I think Prosecutor Kevin Morgan is making a rather large assumption here, no?  Judge James Morely is right – Who knows WHAT a calf would think about blowing a human man.  Maybe it wouldn’t be puzzled or tormented at all.  Maybe bovines like giving head.  Maybe if they had the cognitive ability to speak, they’d ask “are you gonna return the favor?” or “when will I see you again?” I’d like to think of myself as a reasonable juror, and I’m on board with that whole sucking dick = sucking a pacifier.  Might even use that line on chicks from now on.  ”C’mon baby its just like a pacifier.”

PS – This dude also sexually assaulted three girls and one boy. Probably should lock up this calf fucker at some point for one of these various charges, huh Pennsylvania?