NYDNLace Strip Club in Times Square is all about the dirty — except when it comes to the food. The pole-dancing joint got high marks from city Health Department inspectors who checked out the grub-handling and liked what they saw. And New Yorkers might be surprised to find out Lace is in good company: two out of three clubs rated X for what’s on the stage are rated A for what’s in the kitchen. “The first secret of business is keep the place clean,” said Jackie Khan, supervisor of Lace’s cleaning staff. “If the carpet is sticky, we call the guy for a carpet wash. We don’t mind spending money. “If you go to the basement, you can’t find a single mouse dropping,” Khan boasted. Lace only got three violation points in its most recent inspection, though the food it sells — $6 edamame and $15 lobster ravioli — is prepared at the bar next door, which got a B. Clubs that offer food are graded by the city for cleanliness like any other restaurant. They are subject to unannounced sanitary inspections and assigned letter grades under the evaluation system the city started using in 2010. A Daily News analysis of inspections at two dozen strip clubs across the five boroughs found that 67% scored an A. On average, jiggle joints that serve food got 15 violation points. That makes them only slightly less appetizing than regular eateries, 72% of which earned top marks, records show. Lace’s extra effort in the cleanliness department wasn’t lost on its customers. “I care that it’s clean,” said Calvin Hart, 38, a janitor from Harlem. “I wouldn’t want to go to no place dirty.”

I’m not much of a High Horse guy at all. I’m certainly not one to sit on my cloud of judgment handing out life lessons to all the sinners. But I feel like theres a few major lines of behavior in this life that you either cross at some point, or you don’t. One of those lines is eating at a strip club. You either do that, or you don’t. Its not like every now and then you’re walking the streets thinking about what you should have for dinner and you just happen to pass Flashdancers and you’re like “Hey you know what? Might as well pop in here for some sushi. Always wanted to give that a whirl.” That just doesn’t happen. Right? I feel like you’re either a pretty frequent strip club patron to the point that you know the girls and the bouncers and the chefs that you just have no problem combining your boners and lapdances with your steak and potatoes – or – you eat before or after you go to the place where Eastern European broads rub their ass on your dick.

Again, not judging. I’m just saying, personally, you could smack an “A+” rating on the window and tell me Bobby Flay is cooking up filet mignon next to the champagne room, and I’m just not interested in eating at the strip club. But I guess if thats your scene and you’re just trying to save 2 trips and do everything all at once and you wanna eat some fresh rolled up sushi while your balls turn 50 Shades of Blue, then I guess you can rest easy knowing the kitchen is clean.