You’ll get ‘em next time, buddy! Now go play with the other kids your age in the National League.

If you’re gonna challenge big brother to a fight, don’t be surprised when he knocks you the fuck out. All thing considered, 1-5 really wasn’t that bad for the Mets in this season’s edition of the Subway Series. Yankees have been raping the NL East and asserting themselves as a top-tier team in baseball, so the Mets just did their best to follow suit. With the Elliots out in full swing in the Citi Field crowd last night, it was great to see all of Dickey’s streaks go out the window. Wild pitch- check, Runs- check, Winning- check. And I can only assume by the lack of KFC chatter on Twitter that he fell into a Dominos and donut-induced depression after Swisher’s bomb. The one downside of the Yankees shitting on that Rookie of the Year floater was all the generic ‘Dickey has the word dick in it LOLZ’ jokes on Twitter. It’s time to retire those, folks. It was time to retire them in 3rd grade. Great series for the Yankees moving forward into the meat of the season, with the cherry on top being Frank Francisco’s trip to the DL. I’ve never once rooted for or been happy for an injury, but words cannot describe the hilarity of that irony. What a chicken.

P.S.-

You’re such a fucking Elliot, it’s disgusting.

P.P.S.- Pretty sure the kid in the picture up top has cancer, which, admittedly, is a bit fucked up, but Google Images is slacking today.