IndyStarAn act of chivalry enraged a man caught in a sex act into an attack on the person who interrupted him. It started with a man exposing himself and masturbating shortly after midnight Monday outside a Northside apartment building, according to an Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department report. The suspect became upset when another man tried to stop him to protect two women. The suspect struck that man with a belt and then broke 2 windows of the man’s car with his fists, police said. Police this morning were still working to identify the suspect. Jayson Everett, 27, Mooresville, and a woman accompanying him spotted the man while stopping to pick up the woman’s sister from apartments in the 2000 block of North Delaware Street, according to the IMPD report. ”Mr. Everett yelled at him from the car,” wrote IMPD Officer Jeffrey Wilkins in a report. “As he exited his car, the subject took his belt off and came at him swinging. A physical fight ensued in which Mr. Everett was struck by the suspect in the face with his fist causing a small contusion below his right eye.”  Everett told police he was trying to look out for the safety and sensibilities of the women. ”He told the girls to get in the car,” the report states, “and as they attempted to leave the suspect jumped in front of the car and struck the front window with his fist causing it to break. They tried to leave by going northbound on Delaware and the subject ran up behind the car and struck it again, this time shattering the rear window.”

Everyone knows the old saying “Lets sleeping dogs lie.” Well clearly we all need to brush up on the “Let masturbating perverts jerk.” What kind of fucking maniac tries to stop another man mid-jerk? Thats suicide. Its like waking up someone while they’re sleep walking. You don’t know what kind of state of mind they’re in. They’re in the masturbating zone. You break their dick concentration and they snap out of it all disoriented. Probably in a fight or flight mentality. Almost like they’re on a bad trip or something. You’re aroused, you’re confused, you’re agitated. Your D is hard and balls are blue. Thats a surefire recipe for violence.

I mean I know for myself personally, I think I could take a bullet while masturbating. Just feeling no pain. Adrenaline flowing. I couldn’t probably lift a car while I crack my stick. As far as I’m concerned I’m like the Incredible Hulk when I’m giving myself a hand job. By the time I finish up my jean shorts are ripped and my shirt is on the floor. “YOU WOULDN”T LIKE ME WHEN I’M HORNY.”