Lehigh – A young Heidelberg Township man on Monday admitted knocking out a friend at a house party in January after the victim, who suffered a skull fracture and brain bleeding, arrived with the wrong kind of beer. Jeremy J. Kegarise, 19, pleaded guilty to simple assault, a misdemeanor that carries up to two years in prison. In return for the plea, felony aggravated assault and summary harassment were dropped. Lehigh County Deputy District Attorney Anna-Kristie Morffi Marks said the fight occurred around 11:30 p.m. on Jan. 28 at a home in the 7400 block of Camp Meeting Road in Lynn Township. Kegarise had given Antonio M. Inzillo, 21, of New Tripoli, $15 to buy beer and wasn’t happy when Inzillo came back with the wrong kind, according to testimony. Inzillo was asked to buy it because Kegarise is under age. ”What type of beer did he buy?” asked Judge James T. Anthony, as Kegarise smiled and looked downward. ”He bought Yuengling (lager); he was supposed to buy light beer, judge,” responded Kegarise’s attorney, public defender John Baurkot.
No fucking kidding this kid got knocked out. When you’re throwing a party you focus on two things A) What the girls want to drink B) And getting as much of that as possible. I give you 15 bucks and you come back with fucking Yuengling? Whats that get you, a 6 pack? Great job bro, Have fun jerking off in the corner splitting a few beers with your buddy talking about the hops and the barley and why microbrews are so awesome. That’ll be a great party. Chicks looking to play flip cup and beer pong and get drunk and give blow jobs and you come back from the store with a heavy lager because its brewed in the same state you live. Idiot.
When you’re 19 and someone hands you 15 bucks for beer for the party, you come back with a 30 rack of Busch Light or Natty Light and keep the party flowing. Or go ahead and get some Yuengling. Just don’t be surprised when all the girls leave the party and you’re sleepin in the streets with a fractured skull.