Wet PaintSean Lowe loves getting physical (physical!) with his harem of hotties onThe Bachelor, but this hunk is already in a serious relationship with The Man Upstairs, and you know what that means. No sex before marriage! “I do think sex is something special and should be shared with the one you’re going to spend the rest of your life with,” Sean tells Life & Style. “The physical stuff will always come later.” That’s right, ladies, our boy Sean still hasn’t cashed in his v-card. Basically, he’s a virgin who can drive. In fact, he didn’t even do the hanky panky with his ex-girlfriend, Brooke Sorenson Nix! According to Brooke’s bestie, former Bachelorette Melissa Rycroft, their relationship was never a “highly physical thing” because Sean was “waiting until marriage.” So, what will Sean’s ladies in waiting think of his virginity? “I’m sure some of the girls probably wouldn’t want to get engaged to him,” a source tells Life & Style. “Knowing that they wouldn’t have sex until getting married.” Of course, Sean is an extremely physical guy, so remaining virginal can be hard. Harder than his abs. “Being a man, that can get confusing,” Sean says as we nod along. “Your body leads you one way, but your mind leads you another.”

Wow some real sexy stuff goin on during this season of the Bachelor huh! We got one armed bitchesMuslim chicks who won’t kiss the dude because of Allah. And now it turns out this loser wants to play the “I’m a virgin” card. Real sexy television, ABC.

Look if you’re 28 years old and telling people you’re a virgin you’re a fucking loser. Straight up. Because either you’ve kept your dick in your pants for almost 30 years like some sort of square, or you’re lying about it and think pretending to be a virgin makes you sound more respectable when it really just makes you a fucking slug. I can’t stand this society we live in where virgins get revered. The Tim Tebows of the world and those fucking Jonas Brothers and shit. What the fuck is up with that? The whole sex before marriage thing is the most made up rule of all time. I think dudes just made that up to keep girls from being whores so when they finally got married they knew they weren’t settling down with a slut. But people still put these V-card losers on a pedestal. You tell me you’re a virgin and I’m supposed to think you’re better than the average guy who likes to get his rocks off? For sure not. If someone tells me they’re saving themselves for marriage I instantly judge them as a complete social misfit and potentially a psychopath. Grow up. Be a real human. Fuck people. You won’t go to hell. I promise.

And even if you do, guess what? The worst part about hell is that you don’t get to fuck anybody. So you might as well get it in now.