(NEWSER) – Today, in bonkers purchases: Not only did a man pony up $120,000 for a one-foot-wide slice of beach in East Hampton, he secured his tony property after an intense bidding war with another Manhattan financier. Even Suffolk County, which acquired the land a decade ago, was floored. It offered the 1,885-long sliver (which runs from Montauk Highway to the ocean) to the six people whose land touches it, for $10. Two of them, Marc Helie and Kyle Cruz, really wanted it. After 34 bids, Helie emerged the victor, Newsday reports. The auction took place May 30, but the bid wasn’t publicized until yesterday. What Helie gets, per Newsday: “narrow slivers of property on both the east and west sides of Cruz, who would have to walk on Helie’s property to reach the ocean beach a few hundred feet away.” No word on whether a public easement is in effect, but the county’s property manager heard from those at the auction that “one guy really did not want the other one walking over his property to the water.” Quips Josh Duboff for Vanity Fair, “If we were Bravo, we would get cameras down to this beach ASAP.”
I’m not sure if I even quite follow what exactly happened here. But it sounds like some dude just dropped 120 grand on a thousand foot sliver of beach on either side of his enemy’s house. Which sounds like one of the most vindictive, bougie, snobby moves you can possible pull. Only in the Hamptons would you get someone spending 6 figures on a 12 inch strip of sand out of spite for his neighbor. Nice breach front property bro. But too bad you can’t even get to the ocean without walking on my land. Just White People Problems at its finest.