Colorado - Boulder police arrested a Longmont man who witnesses said urinated on a woman at a local bar after she rejected his advances Saturday night, according to a report. The woman told police she was standing next to the bar at Shooters Grill and Bar, 1801 13th St., about 11:45 p.m. Saturday when a man — later identified as Timothy Paez, 22 — came up behind her and put his arm around her. The woman turned around and said, “Um, really?,” and Paez took his arm off her, according to the report.. According to police, a few seconds later, the woman said she felt some sort of liquid hitting her leg. She initially thought Paez was spilling his beer on her, but when she turned around she told police she saw Paez with his penis exposed urinating on her leg and the front of the bar. The bar’s staff escorted Paez outside and contacted a nearby police officer. The officer said Paez was visibly intoxicated and most of his answers were “unintelligible.”

I don’t condone pissing on chicks’ legs. I don’t condone pissing on anyone’s legs. But things like this need to happen to keep the world in balance. To keep you female bitches in check. Because the single hardest thing in the world for dudes is to go up to girls and hit on them at the bar. Now, I’m not talking about a Casanova like myself. I’m just saying on the whole, on average for the male gender, going up to girls at the bar can be one of the hardest most nerve wracking things.

And you know why? Because we got cold bitches like this chick who blow guys off with completely disregard for their feelings. Most chicks have absolutely zero problem completely blowing guys off right to their face. Don’t even bat an eyelash at the fact that they just publicly embarrassed him. And you know what the irony of it all is? This same girl probably went home at night all alone and cried herself to sleep because she doesnt have a boyfriend.

So, sometimes drastic actions need to be taken to restore balance to the male/female courtship process. You completely blow me off for no good reason? BAM I’m pissing on your leg. That’ll end your precious field trip pretty damn quick huh! And then next time this girl is out at the bar and some guy throws her a pick up line or puts his arm around her, she won’t be so quick to shut him down. In the back of her head she’ll be saying “Well the last guy pissed on me so let me smile and laugh at a couple of his jokes first.” And who knows? Maybe that leads to true love. Sure, the damage is still done for Timothy Paez. He didn’t get the girl and he’s probably going to jail for urinating on a stranger in public. But its kinda like paying it forward. He took one for the team so that the next guy could have a chance with this cold hearted bitch.