Huff Po – A Florida man was able to get out of a potential arrest by flashing his genitals at a police officer, TC Palm reports. Law enforcement officials in Port St. Lucie received a complaint at around 7:15 p.m. on Oct. 16 from a woman who suspected a man was masturbating in his car while sitting in a CVS parking lot. The woman had not seen the unidentified man’s genitals, but noticed he was making an “up and down motion in the area of his crotch,” according to a police report obtained by TC Palm. By the time police arrived, the suspect had gone into the CVS, and a responding officer approached him as he exited the store. The officer asked the man to “think about what he did in the parking lot … that would have brought attention to himself,” the report states. The suspect responded that he had gotten “the urge to scratch his testicles” because of a rash he had. He then asked if he could show someone his rash just to prove he was telling the truth. Apparently police agreed, because the suspect “presented his testicles” to an officer, who “verified that [he] did have a rash.”Authorities determined there was no proof that the man was performing lewd acts in public, and he was let go with no charges.

And your itchy balls shall set you free! How about the nosy bitch who reported him in the first place? Dude is just trying to scratch his scrotum in the privacy of his own to to ease the burning of a little crotch rot and next thing you know he’s being interrogated for jerking off in public. Don’t judge a book by its cover and don’t judge a man as a masturbator because he may just be scratching a ballsack rash.

On a side note she must give the worst hand jobs of all time. I understand seeing some dude vigorously rubbing his crotch can look suspicious, but jerking off and scratching are two completely different motions. Would not let that chick near my junk, with or without jock itch.

PS – Great day to be one of Florida’s Finest huh? How can anyone ever willingly be a police officer in Florida? Whether you’re chasing down a dude who ate a homeless man’s face or you got dudes showing your their balls as evidence in the parking lot of a CVS, its gotta be one of the worst jobs on the planet.