Live SciencePaul Salopek has a long walk ahead of him. The 50-year-old journalist left a small Ethiopian village on foot today (Jan. 10), planning to retrace the steps of humans’ migration from Africa until he gets to Tierra del Fuego, at the southern tip of Chile. The 21,000-mile (34,000-kilometer) journey — which will cross 30 borders and dozens of languages and ethnic groups — will take Salopek seven years. By today’s standards, that’s a long time, but the same trek took ancient humans many generations and thousands of years. When and how our ancestors dispersed out of Africa has long proven controversial, though it is generally believed that they slowly spread into the Middle East about 60,000 years ago, and while some branched off and headed to Europe, others migrated eastward into Asia, crossed a land-ice bridge that once spanned the Bering Strait and traveled down the length of the New World.

Move over Diana Nyad! Nobody gives a fuck about you trying to swim to Cuba! This motherfucker is walking to Chile.

What a dickhead. You know why people migrated from Africa to Chile? Well neither do fucking I but I bet it had something to do with the fact that its like 900 degrees in Africa and there are lions and shit trying to eat you. Ancient humans would have fucking stayed put if they coulda just posted up in a house surfing the internet and watching internet porn and stuff. Honestly, you giving up 7 years of your modern life to walk to Chile like our ancestors did 60,000 years ago is basically a slap in the face to human kind. Those ancient humans would punch you right in the dick if they knew you were walking to to South America when you could be just living all fat and dumb and happy and drunk in the modern world. Just another egotistical attention whore with his look at me! look at me! attitude. Hope a fucking cheetah gets you bro.