Craigslist – Hi! This ad is for any ladies (any age, any race, any size, any type) that wants a gorgeous, fully functional telescope. This is not a cheap toy store telescope. This is a Meade 5.1 altazimuth type reflector, complete with motorized and computerized “Autostar” technology. Basically, you go through a quick set up process (putting in things like the current time etc…) you select what you want to look at (the moon, Jupiter, nebulae, etc…) and this telescope goes right to it! It’s awesome, to be honest with you. It comes with an aluminum tripod, a software disc for your pc, the Autostar System, an accessory tray (attached to tripod) a built on spotter scope, a Super Ploss 1.25″ eyepiece (26mm) and, of course, the actual telescope. It you’re an astronomy buff, a star gazer, a nerd or just always wanted one, this is your chance. Originally it cost me over $600, but I will GIVE it to you. I want to trade/barter this telescope as I am moving next year and need to downsize my possessions. As I am looking to trade with a female, use your imagination. We can discuss and come to a mutual agreement. If you’re serious about this, please contact me. You must be able to host. Please be disease-free and open minded, as am I. Send you inf0 (real age, height, weight, as well as a picture, which can be clothe) as well as your general location. I can bring to you to complete the transaction. I have pictures of it, if you are sincerely interested. Thank you!
Who says chivalry is dead! Who says romance is a lost art! Doesn’t get more tender than Casanova here who needs to downsize his possessions and is willing to give you a 600 dollar telescope if you fuck him. He’s got some pretty legit standards. “(any age, any race, any size, any type)” Guy will literally fuck absolutely anything with a vagina if you take this telescope off his hands. But he’s not a total push over. You gotta be disease free and you gotta host the fuck session. 2 minimal requests who’s about to give up a 600 dollar telescope.
And lets be honest, this telescope is fire. You can just tell it what you wanna look at and it knows where to look? Thats some futuristic NASA shit. Just type in “the moon” and it knows where to find it. “Mars” and it zooms right in. “My neighbors who leave the windows open when they fuck” and the Meade 5.1 with the altazimuth reflector knows. I’m no astronomer but I wouldn’t mind having the fucking Hubble in my apartment. And as if the ‘scope itself didn’t get the job done, the Billy Mays sell job seals the deal:
You won’t just get the Meade 5.1 with the Super Ploss 1.25″ eyepiece! Order now and you’ll get the aluminum tripod. You’ll get the accessory tray. You’ll get the software disc for your PC. All for just one easy payment of disease-free pussy! Order within the next 15 minutes and you’ll get the Autostar System! Other telescopes cost over 600 dollars! This one is yours if you let me fuck whatever type of pussy is between your legs!
PS – “It’s awesome, to be honest with you.” is the cockiest line in the history of the barter system. Guy is trading telescopes for pussy and just putting on the full court press with that line.