Here we are. It’s another game five at the Garden. Another series that’s taken us from the brink of comfort to the edge of desperation in just the span of a few days. And again, we fans are the ones left biting our nails wondering which Rangers team will show up tonight. Will it be the defensively strong, opportunistic squad that beat the Capitals in game seven or the flat, passionless pieces of shit that barely skated in Newark on Monday? Little of that decision is left to those in the stands though. Sure, the Garden faithful can cheer and scream and make home ice advantage as meaningful as possible, but when it comes down to how the pros actually play out there, the most impactful tactic we have is prayer.
Well what do you know, that’s Tortorella’s plan too! Pray for offense! Fuck x’s and o’s and all that other bullshit whiteboard coaching crap. Screw motivational speeches. Torts is going to spark his stagnant top six by appealing to that great GM in the sky for better bounces and a crappy night out of Marty. Sounds like a confident team, getting kicked off the ice in the middle of practice and all. Given the fact that we’re tied 2-2 in the conference finals after being outplayed for all but forty minutes of the series, I’d say that God’s already working overtime to keep the Rangers in this thing. I mean, the other team is called the Devils, right? Makes perfect sense for the big guy to be rootin Rangers.
So, are we just hoping that Hagelin, Richards and Gaborik get some sort of “Angel’s in the Outfield” type extra help from from an invisible Christopher Lloyd in a foot locker uniform? That’s how this whole divine intervention thing works in the sports world, right? Win or lose game five tonight, one thing’s for sure. If this kind of strategizing earns you a Jack Adams nomination, then consider me a candidate for every empty bench boss spot up for grabs right now. @Osgood_StoolNYC
PS – Devils beware, Dubi is back…