Hey babe I can look up key terms on Investopedia too

NY PostA former stripper who went from showing her assets to managing those of her clients as the owner of a hedge fund has filed a complaint charging her former bosses with trying to coerce her into sex. Niki Marx, 24, says her two-month stint at HQ Gentleman’s Club in Hell’s Kitchen was a living hell, thanks to supervisors who couldn’t wait to unzip their pants whenever they got her alone in a room, according to a discrimination complaint filed with the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission in 2008. She saw exotic dancing as a way to advance her financial career and she was successful in obtaining her goals,” said her lawyer, David Rosenberg. Just last week, she tweeted, “Bought yesterday RL calls and sold all of them today for a 74% gain.’’ Life was far less sunny for Marx three years ago when, unemployed and desperately in need of cash, she scored a dancing gig at HQ. Shortly after she was hired in 2008, Marx took a break for a smoke in an alley and a security guard exposed himself to her, her complaint charged. That same month, a floor manager named Alex barked at her to come into a closed room with him. When she complied, Alex dropped his drawers and exposed himself, she said. “I told him that I had swollen tonsils,” the quick-thinking Marx said. “I made it up to get out of there. He looked at me totally confused and upset. I left the room.” In October 2008, she claimed, a nasty patron started heckling her and grabbing her breasts — so she slapped him. She says the general manager, Steve, gave her an ultimatum: “He said, ‘If you want to keep your job, you better get down on your knees [for the patron].’ I had enough and I left.” That same month, the club fired her.

HQ Gentleman’s Club should have known what they were dealing with once Niki Marx through out the “swollen tonsils” excuse. I mean most times you try to force a stripper into a blow job they don’t even know what tonsils are. They might tell you their jaw hurts or their neck hurts but not Niki Marx. Nike Marx goes right in for the kill with the tonsils excuse. I mean what dude wants tonsillitis on his dick piece, right? I bet she stormed out of that room and Alex The Manager laughed and shook his head like “That kid is gonna make something of herself one day.”

Fast forward 3 years and whadda ya know. Niki Marx is tweeting about her 74% gain on her Ralph Lauren calls. Pretty sure that might mean she made a 74% return when Ralph Lauren called her to come over and suck his dick, but nonetheless Niki Marx made it up out of Hell’s Kitchen. And look at her now:

She likes sneakers with knee high socks and motherfuckin grilled cheeses! This one has “Hedge Fund Mogul” written all over her! No seriously I think she might have a tattoo on her lower back or on her ribs that says that. But whatever I think your boy KFC is gonna be investing a pretty penny with Niki Marx. Waiting for AAPL to drop upon the news of Steve Jobs death. Gonna give Niki Marx like 500 bucks to buy me one share of Apple and give me a hand job while I’m wearing mesh shorts with no boxers and “Pony” by Ginuwine is playing.

PS – Hey OccupyWallStreet – this is how you make something out of yourself. Niki Marx was unemployed and down on her luck. She got a job as a dancer and now she’s a finance guru. Uh oh. What are the protesters gonna do? She was “one of the 99%” but now she’s turned to the dark side and gone Wall Street. OccupyWallStreet might legit hunt this girl down and kill her.

Just kidding they’ll sit in a park and yell about her over a megaphone making sure to accomplish nothing yet bother everyone who lives and works in the area.