NY PostAn imprisoned Wall Street trader who has admitted to running one of the biggest mob-linked stock frauds in US history is searching for a lady willing to overlook his sleazy past. Although currently housed in a federal prison, former millionaire fallen trader Roy Ageloff has posted a smarmy online dating profile promoting himself as an aristocrat of finance and announcing his quest to find a woman with “an honest heart.” “What good is it to be king if you have no queen?” Ageloff, a Brooklyn native, asks on the Web site Prison Inmates Online. The 52-year-old scammer’s profile avoids mentioning his links to the Genovese crime family that resulted in a conviction on racketeering charges. “Believe it or not, I was once on top of the world. Unfortunately, I’ve temporarily been dethroned of my crown. Are you up for the journey back to the top with me?” Ageloff coos. He still owes $190 million in restitution to the thousands of victims of the stock fraud, according to court documents. But Ageloff offers no apology in the dating profile for his exploits. He even suggests that potential mates may find them amusing. “Just Google my name. Believe me, you will be entertained,” Ageloff writes. The right woman will be able to appreciate his “positive energy,” Ageloff says, explaining that he’s looking for someone “who may be interested in sharing my love for sports, entertainment, but most of all adventure.” “The one thing I can guarantee is you will never have a dull moment with me,” he says. Ageloff writes that his favorite food is Italian, professes his love for R&B, rock and house music, and says his favorite film is “Field of Dreams.” “I have experienced the highs and lows of life. Obviously, my current prison condition is the latter,’’ he writes in his profile. “But by no means has it dampened my zest for life. The best is yet to come.”

Everyone thinks I sympathize with the 1%’ers simply because I hate OccupyWallStreet. But thats not true. I hate douchey finance dudes as much as the next guy. But I will tell you this – the one thing I absolutely love about these bougie Wall Street people is that they do not give a fuck. Part of the reason they get rich in the first place is because they can look you dead in the face and tell you the sky is green and 2 + 2 = 5. And most importantly they will believe it when they say it.

Like this guy here – $190 mil in debt. Almost 100% chance that he’s got a mob hit out on him once he’s out of prison. But this dude thinks he’s a fucking catch. He’s an aristocrat of finance! A king looking for his queen! An adventurer looking for a companion to share with! I mean this online profile is so confident and convincing you look right past the fact that he’s in prison for ruining people’s lives most likely getting raped by big black men.

I’ll tell you what though, if there’s anything I’ve learned from Plaxico Burress and Michael Vick, its that scooping people up on the cheap after prison is not a bad idea at all. I mean sure, Roy isn’t gonna be as rich as he once was. He won’t be an anal virgin anymore. Just like Plaxico isn’t a number 1 receiver anymore. But nonetheless he’s still got that 1%’er mentality. That internal make up that never goes away. I mean basically you ladies out there can get a 1%’er for the price of a 99%. There’s basically no risk except for the mob that will come looking for him to murder him. And all reward with the possibility he gets back into the game and becomes rich again. All I’m saying is that if I was a slightly overweight single woman who’s best chance at love is a borderline deadbeat you find at the bar at 2am, might as well give the ex-millionaire a shot over those guys. Classic buy low tactics.

Plus worst case scenario is you get to watch Field of Dreams with him. Ain’t so bad.