A. Have the power to sleep with any chick you wanted at anytime BUT never see the “o” face


B. Have to spit your usual game BUT be absolutely masterful in the sack.

On the one hand, you could fuck perfect tens on the regular but every woman would know within a month that you are absolute shit.  More awkward than Pres.

On the other hand, you’d have to work just as hard as you do now to get laid but once you’ve slept with a girl she’d be dying to do it again; whenever and wherever you say.  And she’d tell her friends…


I try to give you girls a fair shake. I really do. But goodness gracious you chicks are making it hard. See this question here? This can’t  be a serious question right? If most chicks are running around planet earth wondering the answer to this question – more importantly, thinking that this is some sort of brain buster, stuck-between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place sort of question – then you girls as a gender are completely fucked.

Lets dig into this unanswerable question, Erin. On the one hand, I can fuck any girl on the planet earth, the only “drawback” being they won’t ever want to commit to me full time and I’ll just have to settle for sex with no strings attached with as many partners as my heart desires forever. Or, I get to have sex with a minimal amount of women, when I do have sex with them its all about her, and she’s clingy and will always want to be with me. Like Marisa Tomei in that movie What Women Want. Mel Gibson gives her the O of a lifetime and she just becomes suicidal and shit. Gee. Let me think about this one.

Its borderline insane to me that theres even 1 girl alive contemplating how dudes would answer this. Lets get one thing clear – getting off is your own responsibility. I’ll give you 7 quality innings but the 8th inning man and closer in the 9th is up to you to seal the deal. You gotta bring out toys or fantasize about your ex, go for it toots. Do what you gotta do because I’ve done all the slow down, pretend you’re teasing her, think about your dead grandma techniques in the book and you’ve got maximum 2 more minutes to get the job done.

Girls, if you think that most guys out there care about being some sexual stallion, you’re sadly mistaken. Being good in bed is like being able to bench press a lot. When you’re younger you worry about and you’re jealous of the dude who can put up like 225. But after a couple years you realize it really doesn’t fucking matter and you stop caring. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’d rather be good at it than not. But if you think I’m wasting my one wish from the Would You Rather Genie on the ability to please a small amount of women sexually, you are outside of your mind.