DORAL, Fla. –  A man suing after a major medical mistake left him disfigured gave testimony Thursday that revealed the intimate details of his misery. Late Thursday afternoon, Enrique Milla testified at the Miami-Dade County Courthouse from his new home in Lima, Peru via Skype. He said he wanted a penile implant to improve his sex life in 2007. “About a year before I realized I had problems,” Milla said through a translator. “I had problems having intimate relations with my wife. As time went by, that problem got worse.” Milla’s problems began after a Gangrene infection spread through his penis about nine days after the surgery. Aronfeld detailed the traumatic experience his client went through. “Turned into a flesh-eating bacteria that ate his penis centimeter by centimeter,” he said, ” and as a result of this, he has to spend the rest of his life without a functioning penis. He has to sit down to urinate. He’ll never have any intimate relationships with anyone, and he’s lost his manhood.”

And isn’t it ironic? Dontcha think? Its like raaaaiiin on your wedding day! Its like getting a penile implant to make your dick bigger and then losing your cock all together to a flesh eating bacteria! Its like 10,000 spoons, when all you need is a knife! Its like meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife.

How many centimeters of your dick would you need to be consumed before killing yourself? One. Thats the answer. An centimeter. Once I had a single centimeter of my dick disappear like Marty McFly’s family in that photograph in Back To The Future, I’d give up on life. Because thats precious fuckin real estate, you know? I’m not like Lexington Steele with a 200 centimeter dick. If he lost a few CMs it ain’t no thang. Thats like a deck chair off the Titanic. KFC starts losing centimeters here and there and his dick is gone in a matter of weeks. I’d rather off myself and go to heaven where I have a 10 inch dick or go to hell where I have the same tiny dick I have now than live on earth watching my penis erode in horrendously painful fashion.