PORT ST. LUCIE, Florida — A teenager is recovering after police say he shot himself in the penis and testicle while cleaning a gun he just bought. It happened Thursday morning at a home on the 200 block of Verada Street in Port St. Lucie. Police say 18-year-old Michael Smeriglio first lied to police saying someone shot him while he was walking down the street. After being questioned by police he admitted to accidentally doing it himself. Doctors say the bullet went through his penis, his left testicle and then lodged itself in his thigh. Smeriglio told police he bought the gun last month at a party. While police were investigating at the home where it happened, they discovered marijuana in the house. That led to the arrest of the homeowner Joseph Lamar James, 22, on drug charges.

How pissed is this dude’s buddy who owned the home? Your asshole friend blows his dick off and next thing you know you’re getting pinched for having an ounce under your bed. Thats gotta be like the worst friend of all time. He’s got no dick, one nut and he leads police right to your drugs. Zero redeeming qualities.

Anywho, if I ever accidentally shoot off my dick and balls do you the first thing I’m doing? I’m reloading that gun and shooting myself in the brain. Think I’d rather be dead that have a mangled dick, right? You ever see Sin City? Bruce Willis shoots that dude in the dick and next thing you know he’s some sort of yellow freak show because he needed a fake dick. No thanks. If I get a bullet in my hanging brain I’m putting a bullet in my real brain next.