So earlier today I blogged about my encounter with Dark Guardian, a real-life superhero from the New York Initiative, a band of do-gooder civilians dedicated to keeping the streets of New York safe. Well today Barstool annihilated Dark Guardian. Crushed him via the interweb. We’re going on like 10 straight hours of Stoolies posting horrendously offensive shit on his wall, making fun of him for being a snitch and calling the police instead of doing the super hero work himself.

Which I think effectively makes me a Real Life Super Villain, correct? Like in an unprovoked attack, I went at the Dark Guardian and I defeated him. His superhero friends like Cy Ber Knight and BackSlash Rlsv came to his aid. My Stoolie Henchmen rallied behind me. Cy Ber Knight lists his activities and hobbies on facebook as Parkour and Being A Real Life Superhero and criticized me for assaulting a man trying to help his community. Stoolies made fun of them for being virgins and drew immature cartoons pretending they were super heroes too:

We prevailed. Forces of evil embarrassed these delusional weirdos through an all out cyber attack. I think I can officially declare myself a Super Villain, no? KFC RLSV! Superheros #PWNED!

That’s pretty fucking sweet if you ask me. Being a villain is where its fucking at. None of that moral code that super heroes have to uphold. Don’t have to waste your time saving strangers who don’t even do anything to make it up to you. None of that nonsense. Shit is for the birds. I’d rather be a ballin ass villain. Fucking bitches and breaking the law. Don’t have to worry about anybody but your goddamn self. Viva La Stool! Viva La Villains!

PS – I’m kinda digging this real life superhero fantasy world. Like I could totally get down with being a cyber villain and having a vendetta against The Noodler. KFC RLSV For The Win!

UPDATE:

Had to post this one last exchange because it is fucking hilarious and sums up the Stoolies perfectly

Eddie Laham just murders Sam with an amazing bit of logic and Kenny Landry finishes it off like a child. Viva La Stool.