Follow Up Blog: I Think I Defeated The Dark Guardian
So earlier today I blogged about my encounter with Dark Guardian, a real-life superhero from the New York Initiative, a band of do-gooder civilians dedicated to keeping the streets of New York safe. Well today Barstool annihilated Dark Guardian. Crushed him via the interweb. We’re going on like 10 straight hours of Stoolies posting horrendously offensive shit on his wall, making fun of him for being a snitch and calling the police instead of doing the super hero work himself.
Which I think effectively makes me a Real Life Super Villain, correct? Like in an unprovoked attack, I went at the Dark Guardian and I defeated him. His superhero friends like Cy Ber Knight and BackSlash Rlsv came to his aid. My Stoolie Henchmen rallied behind me. Cy Ber Knight lists his activities and hobbies on facebook as Parkour and Being A Real Life Superhero and criticized me for assaulting a man trying to help his community. Stoolies made fun of them for being virgins and drew immature cartoons pretending they were super heroes too:
We prevailed. Forces of evil embarrassed these delusional weirdos through an all out cyber attack. I think I can officially declare myself a Super Villain, no? KFC RLSV! Superheros #PWNED!
That’s pretty fucking sweet if you ask me. Being a villain is where its fucking at. None of that moral code that super heroes have to uphold. Don’t have to waste your time saving strangers who don’t even do anything to make it up to you. None of that nonsense. Shit is for the birds. I’d rather be a ballin ass villain. Fucking bitches and breaking the law. Don’t have to worry about anybody but your goddamn self. Viva La Stool! Viva La Villains!
PS – I’m kinda digging this real life superhero fantasy world. Like I could totally get down with being a cyber villain and having a vendetta against The Noodler. KFC RLSV For The Win!
UPDATE:
Had to post this one last exchange because it is fucking hilarious and sums up the Stoolies perfectly
Eddie Laham just murders Sam with an amazing bit of logic and Kenny Landry finishes it off like a child. Viva La Stool.
FUCK YOU SAM. yay im on barstool!
I love when you talk shit about unemployed people when your daddy got you a job. Fuckin Tool.
I’d suck on Sam’s Mamarys.
you missed a large part of the noodler mythos including his origin story
Total pwnage
crying at the noodler pictures, can someone post his story?
lol i got kicked off his site
anyone have a link to the documentary?
i cant really explain the noodler it was like a series of escalating posts
That chooch deleted all the stoolie posts. Left a smokeshow defending him at the top of the wall. Too little too late. How long before stoolies start harassing him on the streets?
This post is probably really funny but it is far too long for me to bother reading.
can’t wait for Christopher Nolan to make a movie about this guy, but instead of purple flowers on a mountain side he’ll learn his powers from uncut dick in the ass in Chelsea
Most people would thank all the stoolies for being your henchmen, but still hilarious.
say what you want about the stoolies, they are as loyal as the day goes long
We’re no longer to comment on his page
No longer allowed*
This is by far the funniest shit I’ve read on BSS all summer…hands down. I scoped out the dudes FBook page and wanted to join the flame war, but it’s just WAY too easy…Pres has the feds on his dick about a baby dick, KFC now has to sleep w/ one eye opened before the NYI call the police and initiate a noise complaint against him. We need Pres to join this war and END them.
ok my Batman Begins comment was gold…pure gold…and I know this follow up comment ruins it but I don’t care…fuck I wish more stoolies were film addicts
Did he physically go through and delete every single stoolie comment? honestly how are they all gone? Guy really knows the ins and outs of facebook, I can barely detag myself in a photo. P.s. the pic of him using a flashlight during daytime is epic. He will promptly be heckled.
also Ridley Scott announcing he’s making a sequel to Blade Runner was worldwide trending topic on twitter…I know some stoolies might be too young but shit that deserved a blog…not enough sick movie news on this site…only criticism
u can still slip one by him though…ive got one up there….for now
found this assholes email: DarkGuardianRLSH@gmail.com
this is one of the most aburdly hilarious posts i have read…i would love to hear the backstory to the noodler and understand why he has such enormous nipples and bloody underwear…DC comic will be calling
reading a long post like this >>>>>>>>>>>>>> reading a Jerry T novel on Patriots exhibition game 2.
VIVA LA STOOL!
suck it Dark Guardian
http://twitter.com/#!/DarkGuardianSH
just watched the documentary on hbogo, shit was pathetic
dear Mr. Clancy this is the best thing you’ve written since the blindos and deafys. but you bring hot fire every fucking day. pres give this man a raise
wheres my shirt now!
I just saw thison his wall and nearly pissed myself
“Great Patrol with my fellow New York Initiative members, Zero, Shortcut, and Snipe. NYI is doing some really great things.”
Zero, Shortcut and Snipe? This shit is hilarious
Hahahahah I just watched this randomly then read this post. What a bunch of tools! Stoolies need to take vids of while messing with this asshole and send it in!
theres a joke group for the Dark Guardian now that all his superhero friends are trying to shut down