Coach allegedly gave players access to porno: wtnh.com

Westport, Conn. (WTNH) - A high school football coach in Westport was removed from the team after allegedly helping some of his players gain access to porno.  The assistant coach at Staples High School allegedly gave several freshmen players the username and password needed to gain access to a pornographic website. The coach has been removed from the team and police are now investigating the allegations. “I’m just kind of shocked that he would be dumb enough to do that and risk his job,” said Chris Larkins. The coach, who has not yet been identified, was immediately suspended and has been prohibited from contact with students or players “It’s not the worse thing in the world,” said Larkins, “but it’s not acceptable.”  Larkins used to play on the Staples football team and says it is disheartening to hear the news as the school has a proud football tradition. “Oh yeah, great program, worked us hard, but you know, we were very successful,” said Larkin. “Not the year that I was there but the year after we took states.”  The allegations surfaced when a student who is not on the football team overheard the coach giving out the porn information and reported it to the faculty. Other students agree that this sort of thing should not be happening at the school. “I mean in light of what just happened with Penn State I’m not entirely surprised, it’s a little shocking that it would happen at a high school level,” said Julian Clarke, “but I just don’t think it’s appropriate what happened.

Removed from the team for giving access to porn? I got news for Staples High School – if we’re gonna punish anybody who gives kids access to porn than we should crackdown on every woman on this planet giving birth. Because basically once you’re alive in this world you have access to porn. I’ve seen kids beat off to youjizz before they could walk. I mean I’m more interested in the kids on the football team. Were they like “Wow coach thanks for the Bang Bus password! Now I can see naked chicks having sex! Finally!” Because if they are I’m more concerned with them than the coach.

And hey Julian Clarke lets pump the breaks with the Penn State comparisons, huh? A porn password is a little bit different than having sex with children. Also while we’re on the topic, just as a disclaimer – that line about seeing kids jerk off to youjizz was just a joke. I’ve never actually watched an infant masturbate to internet pornography. Can’t ever be too safe these days.

PS – What are the chances the kid who snitched to the faculty was the fat goth kid who gets blasted in the face during dodgeball in gym class?