Francesa Explains His Police Escort To The Airport
“These Cops who work at Port Authority and the airport actually came to my house, made me breakfast, packed my clothes, and they didn’t pack them right the first time so I made them pack it again, and then they got like 15 cop cars together and they had like a big convoy and we all went to the airport.”
“Not only did I stand on line, but I HATE metal check. Its one of my least favorite things in the history of the world because I have knee replacement”
“This guy proceeds basically to search and pat me down for 15 minutes to the point that I was gonna slug him. It went on forever. It was like a second date by the time I was finished with this guy.”
Well there you have it folks. The official response to Escortgate. Absolute gold. Francesa the king with fucking army of slaves doing his bidding. He’s like a fucking Pharaoh or something. I’m surprised he didn’t get carried to Laguardia in one of those human carriages like Xerxes in 300. Just sitting inside a tent while police carry him with wooden planks on their shoulders. They’re probably gonna build him a pyramid next.
I’m really trying to wrack my brain and remember all the great Francesa moments over the past couple decades but him describing waiting on the “metal check” line is subtly one of the best moments of Mike’s career. It has everything – A) its a completely irrelevant, inconsequential story in which B) Mike acts like a hero as he C) butchers the correct terminology, D) blames his knee replacement surgery for something, and D) he paints himself as just an average joe. Thats basically Mike Francesa’s entire career in a nutshell.
I HATE METAL CHECK.
Mike is ridiculous and rarely makes sense but it is pretty clear here that he was being sarcastic about the convoy of police. If he had the escort onto the tarmac he wouldn’t have been able to tell that absurd story about the metal check.
You hate that commenters can’t sense sarcasm and then you miss it when it slaps you in the face.
Nobody came to his house and made him breakfast, he was being sarcastic. Your listening comprehension skills are fucked bro.
KFC you’re kidding right? how did you not pick up on that.
Francesa just has police officers come to his house, make him breakfast, pack and repack his suitcase for him, and then surround him with a 15 car convoy as he drives to the airport. Thats not a police escort!
clearly being sarcastic ya dumbass
Gotta love the irony of commenters telling KFC he doesn’t get sarcasm when KFC’s being sarcastic. Well played
ANDY PETTITE IS A STAHTIN PITCHA!!!!
I think KFC picked up on the sarcasm…lets give him some benefit of the doubt. Can’t be that stoned? No way his girlfriend allows that.
I feel like I’ve been incepted between Francesca’s sarcasm, KFC’s sarcasm (or lack thereof), and the commenters calling him out on his inability to pick on his sarcasm.(Especially when half of the comments calling him out are also sarcastic)
Lately your blogs are terrible clancy, but the Francesa ones are always funny.
It’s “in” line not “on” line. I’m “on” line right now not “in” line. Can’t you New Yorkers get it straight?
Cannot stand Mike. That being said, KFC…not your best work.
Mike…the “HELLLOOOOOOO…” reference that freaked u out last week….was from a Seinfeld episode u doosh ! People call into Boomer & Carton and do it as a joke…get a fukn grip u DICK !
Yikes KFC… drink some coffee bro
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on a side note the only commenters that are worse than the people that can’t pick up sarcasm are the commenters that say its sarcasm when it is clearly just a writer that made an ass out of himself.
Yea theres no sarcasm on sarcasm inception here. Just got my hands on the video and blogged it too fast. I know when I need to take my own lap. But I stand by the Metal Check sequence. Thats the funniest thing he’s said in years.
Did he stay awake for metal check?
Letterman is the worst when it comes to “hey, Im just an average guy, trying to get by”
Man am I glad I doint live in fuckin NYC and have to listen to this rambling windbag,,fuckin snoozefest man..
cavity search me, ok
biggest bag of shit in Sports, go fuck yourself Francesa. You suck!
This would have been a better story if he fell asleep half way through it
Tony Go Hard wonders why he didn’t drive a Jagwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahr to the airport.