Take your time dude.

Take your time dude.

WSJ -  In case New Yorkers needed another way to compare Derek Jeter to Alex Rodriguez, we’ve found something new. When Mr. Jeter hits a home run, it takes him 20.19 seconds to round the bases, the second-fastest time among Yankees starters. Mr. Rodriguez needs 24.94 seconds, the slowest mark on the team. To determine which Yankees are the slowest to circle the bases during their home-run trots, Take a Number clocked how long every 2009 home run took. The average for current Yankee starters with at least 10 home runs last year is 22.1 seconds—all of Mr. Rodriguez’s home-run trots were slower than that. The average home-run time in the majors is 21.89 seconds, according to Marquette University data coordinator Larry Granillo. As a team, the Yankees are the 12th-fastest, edging the Mets by two-tenths of a second. Outfielder Curtis Granderson is the fastest Yankee at 18.81 seconds, but that’s partly because many of his home runs barely leave the yard—he runs quickly because he doesn’t know where the ball will end up. Most of Mr. Rodriguez’s home runs are sure things. Maybe that’s why he pauses for a second to admire them.

Are you kidding me Wall Street Journal? Look I’m no Bernie Madoff but this is the dumbest fucking thing I have ever read in my life. Yanks are going well, A-Rod has his ring, and you’re gonna try stirring this stupid shit up? Gee here’s an idea how about the Wall Street Journal sticks to stories concerning FUCKING WALL STREET? When you’re referring to El Capitan as Mr. Jeter I think its time to double check your credentials bro.

You know what would happen if I started spitting out financial advice to the Stoolies? Buy the G.T.L. shirts high! Sell the Ben Rapelisberger shirts low! Would just flood the market with awesome t-shirts. Pure chaos. I’d probably even share my weather theory that the stock market goes up when its warm and sunny out and it always goes down when its raining and shitty out. And yea I know thats fucking retarded but when you think about it, is it that much different than this jackass comparing home run trot times?